12 Principles – Page 5 – REACHING HURTING WOMEN MINISTRIES

MY RECOVERY WORK THIS YEAR IS FOCUSED ON THE PRINCIPLES BEHIND THE 12 STEPS, ASKING KEY QUESTIONS THAT WILL HELP TO LEARN THESE CORE VALUES AND PUTTING THEM INTO PRACTICE.

STEP FIVE:
Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of or wrongs.

PRINCIPLE FIVE:
Openness

KEY QUESTION:
How do I trust?

Addicts have a sordid history with trust issues. We’ve trusted people we shouldn’t have. We didn’t trust people we should have. We violated our own values. We invaded other people’s space. We didn’t do what we said we would. We weren’t faithful to our partner. We kept secrets. We didn’t trust ourselves. We weren’t trustworthy.

Most of us were deprived of bonding with our parents as young children causing us to feel unworthy. The ability to trust is closely linked to feeling wanted and having a sense of belonging.

Even after nine years in recovery I still struggle. Maybe not every day or even every week, but when the struggles come they sometimes hit hard. One thing that has made the biggest difference over these years is having a trusted friend with whom I can share my challenges.

It’s most important to find a friend or mentor with whom we can share our pain. We must seek out a fellowship community or recovery group where we can make trusted friends. There we can begin to bond, open up and heal.

Learning how to trust others isn’t a quick process. We’ve had bad examples most of our lives so we will need to walk this path slowly. When sharing our story we must not over share but yet not hide things God is trying to bring into the light where the healing can start.

When we honestly ask ourselves which [people] in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness that is a friend who cares. ~ Henri Nouwen **

RESOURCES:
A Gentle Path through the Twelve Principles: Living the Values Behind the Steps by Patrick Carnes **

MY RECOVERY WORK THIS YEAR IS FOCUSED ON THE PRINCIPLES BEHIND THE 12 STEPS, ASKING KEY QUESTIONS THAT WILL HELP TO LEARN THESE CORE VALUES AND PUT THEM INTO PRACTICE.

STEP 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

PRINCIPLE 3: Spirituality

KEY QUESTION: Am I love-able to God and others?

In the resource I am using for this study (listed below) Dr. Patrick Carnes discusses the common elements most spiritual traditions include. Whether to ourself or others each of these areas require acts of love.

Sharing Pain: our pain connects us to the pain of others.

Serving others: go outside normal comfort zone and help another person.

Joining forces: in times of weakness reach out for help.

Making a leap: Even through difficulties keep going forward.

The answer to our key question shows up in how we are processing these steps walking out love.

Am I afraid to share my pain with others?

Am I stepping out of my comfortable circle of friends and helping someone new?

Am I too proud to ask for help when I’m feeling weak?

Am I making progress each day, even if it is a baby step?

Over the last year God brought me a new girl friend. Someone with whom I’ve been able to process many of these areas with. I’m good at serving but not the best at reaching out for help when struggling. This is the area I need to work on most.

It always comes back to loving myself as God does!

RESOURCES:
A Gentle Path through the Twelve Principles: Living the Values Behind the Steps by Patrick Carnes **