12 Principles – Page 4 – REACHING HURTING WOMEN MINISTRIES

MY RECOVERY WORK THIS YEAR IS FOCUSED ON THE PRINCIPLES BEHIND THE 12 STEPS; ASKING KEY QUESTIONS THAT WILL HELP TO LEARN THESE CORE VALUES AND PUTTING THEM INTO PRACTICE.

STEP 6:

We were entirely ready to have God remove all these character defects.

PRINCIPLE SIX: Honesty

KEY QUESTION:

What must improve?

“When our addiction was the center of our world, we lived a double (or triple or quadruple) life. We said one thing and did another. We told different people different stories. We told ourselves contradictory stories. And we tried to keep track of it all. But of course we couldn’t. No one could. And eventually our world of lies and contradictions imploded.” ~Dr. Patrick Carnes**

As a recovering addict, honesty is one of the most difficult yet critical things I must practice. After 10 years of recovery I’m still learning how to be honest.

To walk out Principle Six I have made a deal with myself. If I slip or struggle in my area of weakness I must be willing to admit it. Admitting it is far easier and less painful than the potential fall out that might come if it is discovered.

Our confession must not be used against us. We have to feel safe when sharing the weaknesses we have with others. It can’t be used as ammunition later.

The beauty of honesty is its simplicity. Life is much less complicated when we are able to be honest with ourselves and others.

Keeping a check on my self-talk is key. If I am tempted to, or actually do slip, I must ask:

What story am I creating in my mind around my behavior?

Am I willing to accept the consequences that may come with the honesty that is needed?

RESOURCES:
A Gentle Path through the Twelve Principles: Living the Values Behind the Steps by Patrick Carnes **

EACH MONTH IN THE 12 STEPS OF HUMILITY WE ARE CLIMBING SAINT BENEDICT’S LADDER OF HUMILITY. WITH EACH RUNG WE COME CLOSER TO THE PERFECT LOVE OF GOD.

The ladder is our life on earth, if we humble our heart God will raise it to heaven. ~ St Benedict

THE SIXTH STEP OF HUMILITY:

A monk is content with the lowest and most menial treatment.

I know what it is to be poor or to have plenty, and I have lived under all kinds of conditions. I know what it means to be full or to be hungry, to have too much or too little. Christ gives me the strength to face anything. ~ Philippians 4:12-13

At first glance in the original language of Saint Benedict from 1500 years ago, this step seems to be putting ourselves down. In a way it is because we should let others go before us.

It’s important to remember the root word of humility: humus (dirt)!

We aren’t supposed to be the one to look for our promotion. Rather, we are to sit at the back and be asked to move up front.

We should be willing to accept the circumstances of life as they come; not thinking we are above certain things.

We are to be content with who we are, with what we have and where we are. Trusting God for the outcome as He can see around the corner of our life.

Humility is peace. It grasps life lightly and takes it as it comes. Humility steps lightly, not intent on having the now be more, but simply aware that the now can be better. Humility enables us to see that the present holds riches for us that we have not seen before because our eyes were focused beyond the present moment. ~ Joan Chittister**

We all go through times of adversity and trials. The key to knowing if our hearts are truly fixed on God is when the external challenges in our life don’t effect our moods.

Oh I wish I could say that I am there! But my practice is getting better. I’m learning to take myself back to my breath and ask:

What relationship do I have with this moment or this situation? Is it healthy or dysfunctional?

Am I accepting or resisting what I am? Who I am? Where I am?