Tag: Working the Steps

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Working the Steps : STEP 5

 

Step 5: 

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 

This step is probably one of the most challenging. It’s one thing to take our moral inventory in Step 4, but it’s quite another to admit our wrongs to another person. While living an addictive lifestyle, we’ve gotten very good at keeping secrets, hiding our shame in lies and denial. Now it’s time to come clean with God, ourselves and another human being. 


Here are some tips to help with each area of Step 5…


Admitting wrongs to God:
It’s easy to justify not really working this part because after all, doesn’t God know everything I did already? Yes, that’s true. But not the point. We need to sit down and have a personal conversation with God, using our listed inventory from Step 4 if necessary. But more importantly, be open and honest about the things we did, that caused harm to ourselves and others, directly to God. It will probably be emotional, but that’s part of the healing.


Admitting wrongs to ourselves:
OK, didn’t I do this when I wrote out my inventory? Yes, and no. Most likely your inventory was taken in silence, with pencil and paper. This work needs to be audible. Sit down in front of a mirror, looking at yourself, going through the inventory list, honestly admit to yourself the wrongs done. If you’re anything like me, dealing with myself in the mirror is always painful. But often pain comes before healing.


Admitting wrongs to another human being:
The first two parts of Step 5 were rough, but this one is the clincher. Start first by carefully choosing a trustworthy person who won’t use your past against you. Find someone dependable, who will provide unconditional acceptance and not be shock or offended by what your reveal. When you’re comfortable with the person, sharing will be that much easier. Refrain from unnecessary detailed explanations. 


Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.~ James 5:16

You make be tempted to procrastinate on this painful step. Don’t. The sooner you get Step 5 behind you, the faster you’ll be on the road to full and complete healing. Don’t hesitate to email me if you have questions. 


Also, here are some excellent resources:

Life Recovery Bible
The Twelve Steps for Christians 
Recovery: The Twelve Steps as Spiritual Practice
The Solid Rock Road


Take it Step by Step with @Bryan_Duncan http://youtu.be/swNgb9ya6WM

 

 

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Working the Steps: Step 4

 



Step 4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

The first time I worked this step was in therapy almost eight years ago. It was shocking to see all my addictions, compulsions and perversions written down on paper. Because much of my life had been lived in a daze of fantasy and denial; it was like reading about someone else.

In Steps One, Two and Three, with the help of the Virtues: Honesty, Hope and Faith, we have submitted to God’s authority over our lives and have converted our doubt and fear into peace with God. In Step 4 we beginning the growth steps, by examining our past behavior we will work towards understanding and eventually finding peace with ourselves.

It’s critical when taking our inventory that we look at our strengths as well as our weaknesses. Often when reflecting on ourselves we focus on the bad things and beat ourselves down with guilt and condemnation. But when we include our strengths in the evaluation we can see the potential for greatness God has put in us which accelerates us forward on our recovery journey.

In the traditional AA Step Four, we take only a moral inventory: weaknesses, wrongs, character defects, faults and shortcomings. In the Christ-centered Celebrate Recovery, Step Four includes also a Spiritual Inventory. Let me clarify with text from the Celebrate Recovery Bible:

Inventory:

  • THE PERSON: List persons or things we resent. (Fear and anger are clues.)
  • THE CAUSE: List specific actions someone took that hurt us. (Why we resent them?)
  • THE EFFECT: List how the specific hurtful action effected us.
  • THE DAMAGE: List how that specific hurtful action still effects us.
  • MY PART: Honestly determine any resentments, sins, or injury we’re responsible for.

Spiritual Inventory:

  • OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS: Who hurt us? Are we still holding a grudge? Seeking revenge? Jealous? Bad attitude? Who have I hurt?
  • OUR PRIORITIES IN LIFE: Is there an area of life we’re keeping from God? What have been our life priorities? What was wrong with those priorities? Who did those priorities affect and how?
  • OUR BODY: How have we mistreated our body? Are there activities / habits that caused physical harm?
  • OUR FAMILY: Have we mistreated anyone in our family? Do we owe them amends? What family secret are we denying?
  • OUR CHURCH: Have we been faithful to our church in the past? Have w been critical instead of active and supportive? Have we discouraged our family’s support of their church?

Step Four begins the process of coming clean. With pen and paper in hand, prayerfully ask God to reveal His truth about you to you. Remember, God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. (2Tim. 1:7) With strength given by the Holy Spirit we can push through the denial, past resentments and the fear of acknowledging who and what we have been, to become free and whole in Jesus Christ.

Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord. — Lamentations 3:40

I hope you enjoy the theme song for our Working the Steps series:
Step by Step by @Bryan_Duncan http://youtu.be/swNgb9ya6WM

Resources: Life Recovery Bible, Celebrate Recovery Bible, The Twelve Steps for Christians.