Living Life Lessons :: PITFALLS


What is an emotional pit? Anything we can’t get out of with our own strength.

What is your pit made of? Self-pity; compulsive habits, depression, anxiety, worry, doubt… 

 

How did we get into this pit?

  • Pushed in innocently by someone else :: family heritage, spouse adultery, job loss.
  • Slipped in by our own unplanned doing :: started dieting ended with eating disorder.
  • Jumped in with willfully planned sin, rebellion or disobedience.

Our pit dwelling may be caused by any combination of the above, or we may have gotten into one and it lead to another. Whatever the case living in the pit is not where we want to be.

Whatever we focus on will draw us in. 


By focusing on our weaknesses or the circumstances we see in the natural, we give them power in our lives. They draw us in. We end up walking directly into the pit that we really want to avoid.

When we’re riding a bicycle and we focus on the parked car near the curb we’ll surely ride into it. The same is true with our areas of weakness. If we focus on them we will fall right into it. 

Instead, we must keep our focus on Christ, by meditating on His Word we will be less likely to fall back into our pit. I’m not saying we won’t still struggle. But I know from experience, if I keep my thoughts going in the right direction that’s more than half the battle.

Can’t we just steer clear of the pit?


As Believers we owe ourselves and those in our circle of influence the determination and commitment to do everything in our power to walk away from the pit. You might fake it till you make it. But will power won’t sustain for long. Unless and until we turn our our self-destructive desires and weaknesses over to God nothing will change. 

When will we turn our desires over to God? Must they nearly destroy us? 


Unfortunately, that’s what I did. I had to lose my job, my home, my car, my family, and then my freedom before I looked up from my pit to find God’s loving hand reaching to pull me out.

Is God in your life? Are you living victoriously? Or are you living in your pit?

I encourage you to spend some time with God. Ask Him to search your heart for the pits that you may be headed for or are living in now. Get a good study Bible, do a topical word search related to your pit struggle. Dig into God’s Word. I guarantee you will find a hand reaching to pull you out!

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire, he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. ~ Ps. 40:1-2

 

“Mimi, What is Love?”

…asked my three year old grand daughter in her innocent boldness.

Surprised at a question that most adults can’t even ask, I quickly summoned a simple answer…

Well, Anna, love can be many things: sharing, caring, helping, listening. God is love and we show His love by doing these things for others.

Later I thought more about Anna’s question.  

What is love? How do we usually look for that answer in the world?

Growing up I stereotypically looked for love in all the wrong places. But even today, living as a Christ follower, it’s easy to look to my husband, children, friends, even things and activities to fill an empty place in my heart that can only be satisfied by God’s Love.

The world often equals sex to love. God graciously allows us the joy of sex to show love to our spouses, but that isn’t love by definition.

Then there’s love languages. I read The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman many years ago. But for the purposes of this blog, I decided to retake The Assessment Test. The scoring system is 0-12 with 12 being most important.

Here are my results

  • Words of Affirmation-9
  • Quality Time-8
  • Acts of Service-8
  • Receiving Gifts-5
  • Physical Touch-0

As a recovering sex addict, I find it very interesting that physical touch didn’t even register! Just goes to show you… sex isn’t always about love; and acting out in my addiction, it never was.

In a previous post titled Reflections, I wrote about the Exodus Freedom Conference where I attended a workshop called A Basic Understanding of Female Homosexuality. Christian Counselor, Melissa Ingraham spoke on the complexity of lesbianism and factors contributing to same sex attraction.

Because of family circumstances, and by no fault of my mother, the primary factor for my same sex attraction  was: I never bonded with my feminine nurturer. Which is why Physical Touch isn’t my love language. Being unmet, that childhood need still hungers; and with my mother deceased now 2 years, I’m left with an emptiness that only God can heal.

So what is this thing deep inside that we need? Is it love? 

Yes, not a human or worldly love…

But THE LoveGod.

And the only way to get it is to press in that much more, to the Heart of God, His Word and His Presence. It is there we will find …True Love.

** Prayer for healing.**

Almighty God, creator of all things, Who in Your infinite mystery, can be both mother and father to those in need; reach down with Your Hand, that overflows with Love and touch the recesses of our souls, our hearts, our minds and our bodies to bring about full and complete healing. Thank You Lord Jesus that we can walk forward, fully confident and whole, with Your Ever Present Love filling us by The Holy Spirit. Amen

This post is dedicated to my incredible husband on our 32nd wedding anniversary. Bill, thank you for never giving up and for believing in me when I couldn’t. I love you more than ever! ~ Tamara