Tag: Freedom from Addiction

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The Road to Recovery :: STEP THREE

STEP THREE:
We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship. ~ Romans 12:1

PRINCIPLE THREE: (Celebrate Recovery)
Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. ~ Matthew 5:5

There comes a time in our recovery journey when we need to look for help. We no longer can do this work on our own. And like a surgeon, who must go to another doctor for treatment, we can’t operate on ourselves. We need the Great Healer, the only Higher Power ~ Jesus Christ!

In Step Three we’re working through a big decision. We prepare for this decision process by thoroughly working Steps One and Two.

  • Look at the unmanageability of our lives.
  • Consider our needs, God’s abilities and our future with or without God.
  • We contemplate the required changes.
  • Decide God is the only one able to manage our lives.

Let’s look at the Celebrate Recovery acrostic that can help us turn our lives over to God:

T ~ TRUST

We put blind trust in many things daily. We trust the chair we’re sitting in to hold us. We trust our car will make it home. We trust the electric switch for light. Why is it so difficult to trust God to take care of us?

If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. ~ Romans 10:9

U ~  UNDERSTAND

Relying on our own understanding gets us into many messes. That’s why we need Jesus. After we ask Jesus into our life, we must look to him in all our decisions. As we grow in our relationship with Jesus, he will show us how he wants us to live.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

R ~ REPENT

Repentance is making an about face with your life; a complete 180, turning from the life of sin we’ve been leading to living a life with and for God. When we have repented we see the world from God’s perspective instead of our own.

“The time has come,” [Jesus] said. “The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!” ~ Mark 1:15

N ~ NEW LIFE

As we take the above three actions; trusting, understanding and repenting our lives are made new in Christ!

If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17

Some old thought patterns have recently resurfaced in my life. So you aren’t alone, I’m working these steps right along with you. It is my prayer that this column has been of some help for you today.

Please click here to watch / listen to the Road to Recovery theme song for this year.

Blessings… Tamara

 

Resources:

Celebrate Recovery Bible
Life Recovery Bible
The Twelve Steps for Christians

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Healing Hurts :: SEXUAL ADDICTION

The sex addiction discussion is a hot topic in the media with personal stories of Hollywood celebrities. But not everyone is convinced someone can really be addicted to sex. And if you are, what’s the big deal? 

You might be thinking… “It would be awesome to be married to a sex addict!”

Think again…

Growing up I had a front row seat in real world sex addiction training. My father was a high functioning alcoholic, which means he could stay sober during the day to manage his career but when off work he was usually drinking and chasing women. His addiction to pornography was no secret with a Playboy calendar hanging above the bathroom scales in our only bathroom.  His sexual exploits also had no boundaries. He brazenly sought out women in front of me; he carried on affairs with my co-workers and my college roommate with no shame. Tragically, I acted out all these behaviors and worse in my own sex addicted life.

When children grow up with addictions and become addicts themselves, they usually take the dysfunctions a step further.  I certainly took my addictions and perversions to more destructive levels than my father. With no regard for my family or friends, sadly I passed down the painful effects of sexual addiction to the next generation.

What is sex addiction? Sex Addiction is an unhealthy coping mechanism characterized by a set of escalating, compulsive behaviors which result repeatedly in negative consequences.   

 

What are the symptoms for sex addiction?

  1. A recurring pattern of sexual fantasies, urges and behaviors lasting six months or longer.
  2. A pattern of sexual activity in response to depression; repeatedly using sex to cope with stress.
  3. Inability to reduce or stop the sexual activities believed to be problematic.
  4. Evidence of “personal distress” caused by the behavior: interference with relationships or work.
 

How can I know if I’m a sex addict? While this online screening test is very comprehensive and helpful, I highly recommend you seek professional help. You cannot overcome this bondage on your own. Trust me. I tried!  Women’s Sexual Addiction Screening Test 

I remember the day I realized I was a sex addict. I was so full of shame and guilt. I didn’t know how to face my family and friends. I didn’t know how I could ever turn back to God. How could He ever love me again after the horrible things I had done.

God loves us in spite of what we have done. Believe it or not, He was there when we did those terrible things. That’s a thought that I can’t stand to think. 

No matter what phase you’re in in the addictive cycle, whether you’re fantasizing about your next sexual encounter or suffering with guilt and shame after last acting out — help is available now!  Freedom from this desperate downward spiral is possible! 

Please don’t stay in your pain alone! Contact me on the Reaching Hurting Women FaceBook Page. I can help you start the healing process.

Instead of dwelling on your guilt and shame, meditate on God’s love for you with this beautiful song by MercyMe… http://youtu.be/74CNUExD4I8