The Road to Recovery :: STEP 5


In The Road to Recovery column we’re working the Eight Principles of Celebrate Recovery that are based on Beatitudes and the traditional 12 Steps of Recovery as they align with the monthly calendar.



STEP FIVE: We admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. ~ James 5:16

PRINCIPLE FOUR (Celebrate Recovery): Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God and to someone I trust. 

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” ~ Matthew 5:8

We’ve lived a life of secrets and lies, denying the truth of the pain we were causing to ourselves and to those we love. It’s time for the lies to stop and for truth to prevail. And often times the truth hurts.

In Step Four we began the process of coming clean by writing our spiritual and moral inventory. Now it’s time for the rubber to meet the road. All our baggage, the good, the bad and the ugly, is going to come off the page and into real life as we share inventory aloud with another person.
Step Five consists of three parts: admitting to God, to ourselves and to another human being. Each part adds a new dimension, a deeper level of intensity to our confession; one reverential, the next personal and finally the painful reality. Let’s look at each level.
ADMITTING WRONGS TO GOD allows us some distance from our wrongs, a sense of objectivity that keeps us from feeling too much pain. However, there may be a time during our confession when words can’t express our feelings. We may need to allow the Holy Spirit to take our prayer of confession from the sounds and groans of our pain. 
ADMITTING WRONGS TO OURSELVES seems redundant after having just written them down in Step Four.  But repeating the inventory, this time out loud to ourselves, helps cement our confession. This brings home the truth of what we’ve done and what we are capable of doing to our prideful ego. 
ADMITTING WRONGS TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING is probably the most painful and even embarrassing part of Step Five. While there is no perfect way to work this step the most important thing is the trustworthiness of our confessor. Whomever we choose, we must make certain this person will never use what we tell them against us. We can’t make our confession unless and until we feel safe.
During this painful process we can look forward to the freedom we will feel after unloading our long carried burdens. We can rest assured the Biblical promise of healing will come after confessing our sins. And having shared our personal inventory with another person we will gain the support which frees us from our sense of isolation, our false pride, and denial. 

Lord, my inventory has shown me who I am, yet I ask for your help in admitting my wrongs to another person and to you. Assure me, and be with me in this step, for without this step I cannot progress in my recovery. With Your help, I can do this and I will. 

Show me who can hear my confession and not hurt me.
Show me who can stand my story and not condemn.
Show me who can listen and honestly care.
Show me who can be a human being and still show mercy.**
 

Click here for The Road to Recovery theme song.

Resources:

**Prayers for the Twelve Steps: A Spiritual Journey
Celebrate Recovery Bible
Recovery: The Twelve Steps as Spiritual Practice by Rami Shapiro
The Twelve Steps for Christians

BOOK REVIEW ~ Storyline: Finding Your Subplot in God’s Story by Donald Miller

Is your life floating by meaninglessly with no purpose or passion? 

Do you long for goals and ambitions that will make a difference in the lives of others? Then this is the book for you!


Storyline: 

Finding Your Subplot in God’s Story

by 

@DonaldMiller













I was introduced to Donald Miller’s writing about four years ago through Thomas Nelson’s Booksneeze program, when I reviewed Searching for God Knows What. Since then I’ve read a few more of his books all of which I like very much. I’ve found Donald’s writing style to be fresh, friendly, fast paced and fun. And Storyline is no exception. 

As a writer I’ve been working on my autobiography for a few years. So when I learned about Donald’s new project I thought it might help with my story writing skills. Reading Storyline can help me write a better story about my life, but most importantly it will help me live a better story every day. 

These days I’m working on being intentional and committed to the activities and people in my life. Reading Storyline couldn’t have come at a better time to help me be more intentional and more committed to the roles, goals and climactic scenes I want to see in my future.

Storyline is a fun and engaging workbook that goes along with the Storyline conference. But it can also be used for small groups or individual study.  No matter your age, gender or season of life, you will benefit from reading Storyline by Donald Miller. 

I’m excited to put what I’ve learned from Storyline into practice. It has already given me a better vision for my life and a clearer focus on that vision. I believe my story will be much improved because I read this book. 

I hope you will get a copy of Storyline. I highly recommend it!


Click here to watch an introductory video about Storyline.



What is Storyline? from Donald Miller on Vimeo.

Living Life Lessons: 5 STEPS THROUGH TROUBLED TIMES

Where do you run when trouble comes?


Food? Alcohol? Drugs? Shopping? 

These have been my trouble escapes in the past. Let’s look for a better way to press through our troubled times.

In the Living Life Lessons column each month I am highlighting specific lessons God has taught me since I turned my life back over to Him in 2004. Over the last eight years I’ve watched, read and listened to countless messages by Joyce Meyer. Without a doubt her ministry has been one of the most important influences on my life and has shaped who I am today.

One of the best lessons I learned was from Joyce’s sermon titled “Double for Your Trouble.” When I watched this video the first time in 2006 our life was in turmoil. I was in the early stages of addiction recovery, my husband and I were trying to repair our marriage, two of our three grown children were estranged from us, and my husband was between jobs. We were having trouble most every day. 

Here are the 5 steps I’ve learned to apply when trouble comes:

  1. Stay Emotionally Stable ~ Our first reaction when trouble comes is usually an emotional one. If you’re like me screaming and crying were at the top of the list. On top of that after all the screaming and crying was over I’d have a neck-ache, a backache, a headache and worst of all nothing had changed! Getting emotional in times of trouble only makes things worse. The best thing we can do, for ourselves and those around us, is to remain calm.
  2. Trust God ~ One of the reasons we freak out when trouble comes is we’ve lost our sense of control. This sense of control is just an illusion because there is little in life that we really can control. It’s amazing how much better life is when we let go of that obsession and give all the control to God.
  3. Pray Immediately to Avoid Fear ~ Closely linked to our lack of control is fear. We must remember that fear activates the enemy’s power. So it’s critical that we pray right away for God to give us the faith we need to walk through the trouble we face.
  4. Keep Doing Good ~ When times get rough it’s easy to bail out of everything and just hibernate in our pity party. Whatever we were doing before the trouble began, we must keep doing it. We need to stay on a schedule and faithful to our commitments if possible.
  5. Expect a Reward ~ God often allows trouble in our lives to stretch and grow our faith. But in the midst of the trials we must be on the look out for His goodness. It’s all around us but we will miss it if we stay consumed with emotionally driven fear and worry.
My husband and I have lived according to these principles for the last eight years. We’ve been through several job changes with moves back and forth across America and worked through family fallout and the consequences of my addictions. Life hasn’t always been easy, but by staying faithful to the steps above God has blessed us with many good things!

Every good thing comes from the Father who created all the lights in the heavens. ~James 1:17  

Click here for this week’s awesome music video from @TheAfters upcoming album!

Celebrate Discipline : STUDY

Whether college students or students of life, when trying to learn something new we need the discipline of study. It’s the same when it comes to our personal spiritual growth. Let’s look at how we can become better students of and for God.

Our goal of integrating the Spiritual Disciplines into our lives is to transform our total person; to re-place old destructive thoughts and habits with new life-giving ones. Today we’ll learn four steps that will help us make the most of our valuable study time. But first let’s look at our definitions for this week:

SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINES: habits that nurture spiritual growth; exercises unto godliness.

STUDY: application of the mind to the acquisition of knowledge.

The Bible tells us that we are transformed through the renewal of our mind. And our mind becomes renewed as we apply the things we’ve learned in new habits. Some of us have naturally good study habits but many of us need help in this area. 

Here are four steps that I learned from Richard Foster’s book Celebration of Discipline:

  • REPETITION ~ channels our mind in a specific direction by ingraining thoughts. Whether rereading, re-writing or reciting material aloud, repetition always works for me.
  • CONCENTRATION ~ our brain’s natural ability is enhanced by centering our energies on our subject of study. Remove distractions and find a quiet place where you can focus. Again key for me.
  • COMPREHENSION ~ understanding what we are studying is not always an easy task, but when we put the previous steps to work, comprehension is more achievable. Before we know it we have that light-bulb moment!
  • REFLECTION ~ once we have defined our subject through comprehension we are ready to bring significance to what we have learned. With reflection we can now apply what we have learned to our life.

Whether listening to audio books, studying nature on a daily walk,  or doing an intense scripture study, there are many ways we can become attune to the message of God’s love in our lives. 

One of the most important things I’ve learned from Richard Foster these last several years is don’t get stuck reading only current books or publications. By alternating classic Christian literature into my reading, more depth has come into my spiritual learning experience. Now the classics are my preference.

If you are unfamiliar with Christian classics I encourage you to check out Spiritual Classics by Richard Foster. This excellent book contains excerpts from many of the greatest books ever written. It’s designed like a devotional or can be used as a small group study. 

Whatever your do turn off the TV, put down the smart phone and pick up a good book. You won’t be sorry!

What’s your favorite Christian classic book?


Click here to watch How to Study the Bible with Joyce Meyer and Rick Renner.


RESOURCES:

Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster
Spirit of the Disciplines by Dallas Willard
Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Donald S. Whitney
Spiritual Disciplines Handbook by Adele Ahlberg Calhoun

The Road to Recovery :: STEP FOUR

STEP FOUR:

We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Let us examine our ways, test them, and return to the Lord. ~ Lamentations 3:40

 

PRINCIPLE FOUR of Celebrate Recovery:

Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God and to someone I trust.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. ~ Matthew 5:8

Step Four begins the growth steps of our recovery journey. We are now ready to come clean, to dig into the areas of our life where we have been blinded by denial.  For our moral inventory it’s very important that we stay balanced. We should make a list of our not only our weaknesses but also our strengths.

Grab a pen and paper as we follow Celebrate Recovery’s suggestions for processing our Spiritual Inventory. Let’s start examining areas of our life:

  • Relationships:

Who has hurt you? Who have you hurt? Are you seeking revenge / holding grudges?

  • Priorities 

What are your priorities? What is good / bad about them? Who do they affect and how?

  • Attitudes 

Are you grateful, complaining, sarcastic, anxious, fearful? Do you blow up easily?

  • Integrity

Are there times you have been dishonest? Pretended to be something you aren’t?

  • Mind

How do your guard your mind? Do you fill it with unhealthy movies, books or magazines?

  • Body

How have you treated your body? What habits or physical activities do you have?

  • Family

How do you treat family members? What family secret are you denying?

  • Church

Have you been faithful to church in the past? Are you discouraging your family from church?

There is much more that we can talk about when it comes to our inventory.  It’s my desire here to provide a jump start for your recovery. Please know this column isn’t designed to take the place of a 12 Step program. If you aren’t already attending a group I encourage you to go to the Celebrate Recovery website: www.celebraterecovery.com  to find a group in your area.

Also, if you don’t have an accountability partner yet, attending a CR group will help you to find someone to help you work through your inventory list.  Remember, the road to recovery is not designed to be traveled alone!

I pray God will reveal just what you need to see as your courageously take this step. Blessings… Tamara

Click here to watch / listen to our Road to Recovery theme song: The Serenity Prayer.

Resources:
Celebrate Recovery Leader’s Guide
Celebrate Recovery Bible
The Twelve Steps for Christians
Life Recovery Bible

Book Review: MADE TO CRAVE by Lysa TerKeurst

MADE TO CRAVE


by @LysaTerKeurst

Zondervan 2010

218 pp



Last December, while searching for books to review, I stumbled upon Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst.  I was unfamiliar with the author but found many books by her with raving reviews and as a seasoned Amazon shopper that means BUY =D 

With obesity rates rising, it’s no secret that food is a big problem in our world today. Though this isn’t my specific area of weakness, sex and food addiction are closely related, so I decided it would be a great selection to review. Little did I know God had a different reason for me to read this book.

On a seemingly normal Saturday afternoon, I was reading along when all of a sudden God snuck up and healed a deep emotional wound from my childhood! Just like that. Out of the clear blue. Healing came through Chapter 14 ironically titled Emotional Emptiness.

To process her own childhood emotional wounds, Lysa used Philippians 4:8:

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”

So as I read how Lysa processed her painful memories, I processed my own unmet nurturing needs. Here are excerpts from my journal:

What is true about my childhood? It is true that by father was emotionally unavailable, an alcoholic, sex addict and womanizer. It is true that my older brother was born handicapped and my mother wasn’t able to give me the nurturing I needed because she had to care for my siblings. It’s true momma did the best she could. She didn’t reject me on purpose, she was just running on her own strength and didn’t have enough to go around.

What is right about my childhood? It is right that my mother did all she could to care for my brother. God just whispered to me –  if our roles had been reversed – if I had been in the wheel chair, my mother would have done the same for me! 

What is pure, lovely, admirable and praiseworthy in my childhood? What if I change my perspective on this emptiness and feeling of lack? What if I look back at this memory and see it as a sacrifice of love for my brother so that he could have the care that he needed most? Jesus doesn’t see His wounds as a victim but as a sacrifice of love. I mustn’t see the empty places as lack for me but as a gift to my brother and sister. By doing this my perspective changes to purity of heart, loveliness for my brother, my sister, and my mother. Seeing the positive vs. the negative allows my pain to become something admirable and praiseworthy.

Needless to say, I wasn’t expecting a surprise healing that day. One thing I know, is that my burden is gone. I am free from that empty pain of lack! 

Our cravings may come in different packages but the bottom line is still the same: we’re all trying to fill our spiritual emptiness, to moisten our dried up hearts with pleasures found in the world. It won’t work no matter how hard we try. It seems the harder we try the deeper the hole gets, and the less satisfaction comes until we are so numbed that we can’t feel our brains think any more.

Whatever your weakness: food, sex, gambling, shopping, media… You will find help in this book.  Where the word food shows up just fill in your particular weakness. That’s what I did and it worked for me! 

I highly recommend Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst. It’s an easy read, with touching personal stories sure to reach a spot in your heart. There are study guide questions at the end of each chapter that make it perfect for small groups to work together. 

Click here to watch a MADE TO CRAVE video by Lysa TerKeurst.


Living Life Lessons :: PITFALLS


What is an emotional pit? Anything we can’t get out of with our own strength.

What is your pit made of? Self-pity; compulsive habits, depression, anxiety, worry, doubt… 

“A pit is an early grave Satan digs hoping to bury you alive.”~ Beth Moore

How did we get into this pit?

  • Pushed in innocently by someone else :: family heritage, spouse adultery, job loss.
  • Slipped in by our own unplanned doing :: started dieting ended with eating disorder.
  • Jumped in with willfully planned sin, rebellion or disobedience.

Our pit dwelling may be caused by any combination of the above, or we may have gotten into one and it lead to another. Whatever the case living in the pit is not where we want to be.

Whatever we focus on will draw us in. 


By focusing on our weaknesses or the circumstances we see in the natural, we give them power in our lives. They draw us in. We end up walking directly into the pit that we really want to avoid.

When we’re riding a bicycle and we focus on the parked car near the curb we’ll surely ride into it. The same is true with our areas of weakness. If we focus on them we will fall right into it. 

Instead, we must keep our focus on Christ, by meditating on His Word we will be less likely to fall back into our pit. I’m not saying we won’t still struggle. But I know from experience, if I keep my thoughts going in the right direction that’s more than half the battle.

Can’t we just steer clear of the pit?


As Believers we owe ourselves and those in our circle of influence the determination and commitment to do everything in our power to walk away from the pit. You might fake it till you make it. But will power won’t sustain for long. Unless and until we turn our our self-destructive desires and weaknesses over to God nothing will change. 

When will we turn our desires over to God? Must they nearly destroy us? 


Unfortunately, that’s what I did. I had to lose my job, my home, my car, my family, and then my freedom before I looked up from my pit to find God’s loving hand reaching to pull me out.

Is God in your life? Are you living victoriously? Or are you living in your pit?

I encourage you to spend some time with God. Ask Him to search your heart for the pits that you may be headed for or are living in now. Get a good study Bible, do a topical word search related to your pit struggle. Dig into God’s Word. I guarantee you will find a hand reaching to pull you out!

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire, he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. ~ Ps. 40:1-2


Click Here to watch Beth Moore’s teaching video “Get Out of That Pit”




Celebrate Discipline :: FASTING

SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINES: habits that nurture spiritual growth; exercises unto godliness.

FASTING: voluntary denial of a normal function for the purpose of intense spiritual activity.

“When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting… But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” ~ Matthew 6:16-18

“Like all the Spiritual Disciplines, fasting hoists the sails of the soul in hopes of experiencing the gracious wind of God’s Spirit.” ~ Donald S. Whitney

The spiritual discipline of fasting is often misunderstood, causing avoidance altogether. If we do hear teaching on it, it’s usually in relationship to food. But there are many ways to fast that can be as effective, if not more effective, than fasting from food. Personally, I have trouble fasting from meals because of blood sugar issues.  So I look for other ways that I can deprive myself in order to deepen my relationship with God.  

TYPES OF FASTING:

  • Abstain from food, drink, shopping, desserts, etc… to intentionally spend time with God.
  • Abstain from media: television, music, computers and games to hear God’s voice.
  • Abstain from comfort habits: reading, sports, elevators to give God your undivided attention.

IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A TRADITIONAL FOOD FAST HERE ARE SOME SUGGESTIONS:

  • Pray to be certain of God’s direction for your fast.
  • Don’t fast when you are sick, pregnant or nursing.
  • If you have any health issues, consult your doctor before fasting.
  • Start small. Begin by fasting for one meal. Then work up to longer fasts.
  • Always drink plenty of liquids.
  • Don’t break your fast with a large meal. The longer the fast the gentler you should break it.


When we fast we lay down an appetite, placing that time and energy on spiritual things. Through our self-denial we begin to recognize areas of our life that control us. When we are willing to set aside something we enjoy and be attentive to God’s voice we will receive grace and nourishment we can’t get on our own.


In what way can you deny yourself in order to spend more time with God?


Click here for a beautiful music video by Shane and Shane. Blessings… Tamara




RESOURCES:

Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster
The Spirit of the Disciplines by Dallas Willard
Spiritual Disciplines Handbook  by Adele Ahlberg Calhoun
Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Donald S. Whitney

Photo Courtesy of 123rf.com

The Road to Recovery :: STEP THREE

STEP THREE:
We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship. ~ Romans 12:1

PRINCIPLE THREE: (Celebrate Recovery)
Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. ~ Matthew 5:5

There comes a time in our recovery journey when we need to look for help. We no longer can do this work on our own. And like a surgeon, who must go to another doctor for treatment, we can’t operate on ourselves. We need the Great Healer, the only Higher Power ~ Jesus Christ!

In Step Three we’re working through a big decision. We prepare for this decision process by thoroughly working Steps One and Two.

  • Look at the unmanageability of our lives.
  • Consider our needs, God’s abilities and our future with or without God. 
  • We contemplate the required changes.
  • Decide God is the only one able to manage our lives.

Let’s look at the Celebrate Recovery acrostic that can help us turn our lives over to God:

T ~ TRUST 

We put blind trust in many things daily. We trust the chair we’re sitting in to hold us. We trust our car will make it home. We trust the electric switch for light. Why is it so difficult to trust God to take care of us? 

If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. ~ Romans 10:9

U ~  UNDERSTAND 

Relying on our own understanding gets us into many messes. That’s why we need Jesus. After we ask Jesus into our life, we must look to him in all our decisions. As we grow in our relationship with Jesus, he will show us how he wants us to live. 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. ~ Proverbs 3:5-6 

R ~ REPENT 

Repentance is making an about face with your life; a complete 180, turning from the life of sin we’ve been leading to living a life with and for God. When we have repented we see the world from God’s perspective instead of our own. 

“The time has come,” [Jesus] said. “The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!” ~ Mark 1:15

N ~ NEW LIFE 

As we take the above three actions; trusting, understanding and repenting our lives are made new in Christ! 

If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17

Some old thought patterns have recently resurfaced in my life. So you aren’t alone, I’m working these steps right along with you. It is my prayer that this column has been of some help for you today.

Please click here to watch / listen to the Road to Recovery theme song for this year.

Blessings… Tamara

Resources:

Celebrate Recovery Bible
Life Recovery Bible
The Twelve Steps for Chirstians

BOOK Pre~VIEW :: The Power of Pause by Terry Hershey

The Power of Pause: Becoming More by Doing Less


by

@Terry_Hershey

Loyola Press
235 pp

My best girlfriend turned me on to this book not long ago. And because The Power of Pause is designed like a devotional I haven’t read much of it yet… thus the preview vs. review. However, so far I am quite impressed with Terry Hershey and his book. With our daily schedules getting out of hand, we need all the help we can get to slow down!

Rather than go on about how good I think this book is going to be, I will let the author tell us himself.

Click here for The Power of Pause book trailer with Terry Hershey.  Blessings…