Addiction Recovery – Page 6 – REACHING HURTING WOMEN MINISTRIES

In The Twelve Steps to Victory column, we’re reframing the traditional 12 Steps with a focus on victory vs continually looking back at our missteps and failures. Each Step aligns with the months on the yearly calendar. This series publishes on the first Friday of each month in 2025.

My victory didn’t begin with breakthrough—it began with brokenness.

We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings, trusting that His help would lead us to victory. ~ Step Seven

When Change Feels Like Breaking

In 2004, early in my recovery journey, I wasn’t prepared for how hard—or how painful—the process of change would be, nor how long it would take.

There were so many layers that needed to be made new and clean. My victory didn’t begin with a quick breakthrough—it began with brokenness.

My Heart Had Turned to Stone

I can’t remember exactly when it happened, but sometime in 2004, God showed me a vision of my heart. It had turned to stone.

He showed me that in order for healing to take place, He had to throw my stone heart down and shatter it into pieces.

He told me this was the only way He could reshape me. The old had to be broken first before the new could be created.

It was a very painful process. Not long after this, I began a routine of getting on my face before the Lord each morning and asking Him to keep me soft and pliable in His loving hands.

Because I don’t ever want to go through that again.

I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. ~ Ezekiel 36:26

Trusting God in the Unfamiliar

This was a very humbling, confusing, and lonely time.

Thankfully, it wasn’t long before I found my first Life Recovery Bible. Once I got that Bible, everything began to make sense.

Through it, I began to understand God’s promises, and I felt less alone.

God totally used the Life Recovery Bible to shape my new heart and life by His Word!

He who began a good work in you will carry it out to completion. ~ Philippians 1:6

Humble Surrender

While most times we don’t even know what needs to be removed or reshaped within us until God reveals it, we can trust that as we humbly surrender to His sovereign will and purpose, that in the end, His work in us will lead to our good and His glory.

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. ~ James 4:10

You Can Trust Him with the Process

Dear friend, if you are in the breaking process, know this—you are not being destroyed, you are being remade!

Trusting God for change means we must let go of what we think should happen and lean into what God knows we need.

This process to victory is one built through surrender, not striving.

A Prayer and a Promise

Friend, please pray this with me…

Lord, even when it hurts, I trust You to change me into what You want me to be. Break what needs breaking. Remove anything that hinders. Shape my heart for victory. In Jesus’ mighty name we pray! Amen.

Remember: While the process may be unfamiliar, you can trust the One who is leading you is faithful! His heart is for you!

In The Twelve Steps to Victory™ column, we’re reframing the traditional 12 Steps with a focus on victory vs continually looking back at our missteps and failures. Each Step aligns with the months on the yearly calendar. This series publishes on the first Friday of each month in 2025.

Step Summary

We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character, believing that victory lies in transformation. ~ Step 6

Key Verse

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.” — Romans 12:2

Introduction

Step Six is a turning point. We’ve confessed our struggles, faced the truth, and now we stand at the threshold of real change. But transformation doesn’t come by trying harder—it comes through surrender and allowing God to do the deep work in us. This step is about becoming willing to let go of the old self and trust God to shape us into who He created us to be.

Why Is This Step Important?

It’s not enough to know what’s broken—we must be ready to let it go. This step challenges our readiness to release:
– Old habits that comforted us but controlled us
– Attitudes that shielded us but poisoned us
– Patterns that protected us but stunted us

God never forces transformation. He waits for our invitation. This step is about saying: “Yes, Lord—I’m ready.”

Practical Application

1. Pray a Willing Heart into Being – You may not feel ready, but you can pray for readiness. Ask God to make you willing to be changed.
2. Name What Needs to Go – Make a list of character traits, attitudes, or habits you sense the Holy Spirit highlighting.
3. Hold Them with Open Hands – Surrender them one by one to God. Speak aloud: “God, I give You my pride… my fear… my need to control.”
4. Affirm the New You – Replace each surrendered trait with a Scripture promise about your new identity in Christ.

Illustration

Think of a potter and clay (Jeremiah 18:1-6). The clay must be soft and pliable in the potter’s hands to be formed into something beautiful. If the clay resists, the shaping cannot begin. Step Six is about being moldable in God’s hands—trusting Him with the process of transformation.

Discussion Question

What is one area of your character that you’re struggling to surrender? What would it look like to trust God with it this week?

Application Challenge

This week, choose one trait or habit you know God is calling you to release. Write it on a note card. On the other side, write a truth from Scripture that speaks to the new character He’s building in you. Keep it where you’ll see it daily.

Conclusion

God isn’t after perfection—He’s after your heart. And when your heart is willing, He can do what only He can: transform you from the inside out. Step Six is not about fixing yourself—it’s about saying “yes” to His refining love and trusting Him to finish what He started.

From My Heart

This step is especially personal for me right now. I’ve walked through seasons of transformation before—like when I first got sober 20 years ago and experienced the undeniable shift from old to new. But this time, it feels different. I’m not sure what’s changing. I only know that I’m being pressed.

Pressed by responsibilities I didn’t choose but now must carry. Pressed by the ache of being far from those I love deeply. Pressed by a longing to make a home in a space that doesn’t quite feel like mine. Every part of life feels like a struggle—and yet I can sense that something sacred is happening beneath the surface.

I’m reminded of the words of Paul: “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation…” (Philippians 4:12). I’m asking the Lord to teach me that secret. To help me be content in what is, even as I trust Him for what is yet to come.

That’s why Hillsong’s “New Wine” speaks so deeply to me in this season. It gives words to my heart’s silent prayer:

“In the crushing, in the pressing, You are making new wine. In the soil, I now surrender—You are breaking new ground.”

If you’re feeling pressed too, know this: you’re not alone. Transformation doesn’t always announce itself with fireworks. Sometimes, it happens quietly—in the daily surrender, the unseen obedience, the whispered yes. And in the hands of our loving God, the pressing is never wasted. It’s always leading to something new.