Tamara – Page 197 – REACHING HURTING WOMEN MINISTRIES

MY RECOVERY WORK THIS YEAR IS FOCUSED ON THE PRINCIPLES BEHIND THE 12 STEPS; ASKING KEY QUESTIONS THAT WILL HELP TO LEARN THESE CORE VALUES AND PUTTING THEM INTO PRACTICE.

STEP EIGHT: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

PRINCIPLE EIGHT:
Commitment

KEY QUESTION:
How am I responsible?

Searching the Internet for images that convey the word “commitment” brought multiple pics of marriage proposals. Strangely enough I had much difficulty finding images which displayed the concept of commitment…

So I went to the dictionary and found the words: Pledge, Promise and Obligation. All of these words are hard to put into a visual image. They must be lived out.

As addicts living in addiction we knew about commitment. We were committed to finding our next fix. We would go to great lengths to get it, pushing others aside and often leaving destruction in our wake.

Now the recovery life challenge is to take that same determined commitment and turn it around for the purpose of our health and personal relationships.

If we break down the dictionary definition words from above: pledge, promise and obligation, we see words that imply a personal decision, thought processes, words spoken, documents signed, physical actions taken.

The idea of commitment isn’t to be taken lightly. Though as addicts it’s sometimes difficult to grasp and maintain the seriousness of it within ourselves.

The key question asks: How am I responsible?

Am I responsible to keep boundaries in place so my triggers don’t snap?

Am I responsible to be honest with myself, friends and partners when I am weak and struggling?

Am I response-able?

My recovery-abled response: Pause and then do the next right thing!

RESOURCES:

A Gentle Path through the Twelve Principles: Living the Values Behind the Steps by Patrick Carnes **

Image credit: AntiqueGraphique @Etsy.com

EACH MONTH IN A MONK IN THE WORLD WE ARE LEARNING THE PRINCIPLES OF CHRISTIAN MONASTICISM AND HOW WE CAN APPLY THEM TO OUR LIVES OUTSIDE THE MONASTERY WALLS.

com·mu·ni·ty n

a social group of any size whose members reside in a specific locality, share government, and often have a common culture and historical heritage.

The idea of community is basically lost in our American culture. We may be a community by shared location or government but most of us know few of our neighbors. If we have any type of community relationships it’s probably with co-workers or classmates.

Sadly, we are locked in our gated subdivisions refusing to make room or time for others. We sit behind our smartphones and computers surfing social media, believing we are in a “community” of live people. But is anyone actually looking at, talking to or physically touching us?

This, then, is the good zeal which monastics must foster with fervent love: “They should each try to be the first to show respect to the other”: (Rom. 12:10), supporting with the greatest patience one another’s weakness of body or behavior, and earnestly competing in obedience to one another. No one is to pursue what is judged better for self, but instead what is judged better for someone else. To their companions they show the pure love of sisters or brothers; to God, loving fear; to their abbot, unfeigned and humble love. Let them prefer nothing whatever to Christ, and may Christ bring us all together to everlasting life. ~ The Rule of Benedict 72:3-11

Saint Benedict’s community of monks lived in small dormitories, eating, sleeping and praying together. Their days began in the dark hours of the morning with prayer, followed by alternating work, study and more prayer, retiring again at dark.

…simply living with people does not itself create community. People live together in armies, prisons, college dorms, and hospitals, but they are not communities unless they live out of the same reservoir of values and the same center of love… We have to share a common vision… to want good for one another… to be able to draw from the same well together. ~ Joan Chittister*

It’s easy to zoom in on myself and hide in my books and writing. I feel most loved when someone reaches out to me, takes time to look into my eyes and really hear what I have to say. I crave that and so do others.

The call is to zoom out and broaden my community reach in a physical way.

How can I be an active monastic outside the walls of my cozy office?

RESOURCES:
Wisdom Distilled from the Daily: Living the Rule of St. Benedict Today by Joan Chittister, OSB*
Seeking God: The Way of St. Benedict by Esther de Waal
Spirituality For Everyday Living: An Adaptation of the Rule of St. Benedict by Brian C. Taylor
St. Benedict’s Toolbox: The Nuts and Bolts of Everyday Benedictine Living by Jane Tomaine

Image credit: deepgreen / 123RF Stock Photo