The Perfect Day

“Day in and day out.”  “That will be the day.” “Tomorrow is another day.”
These are all examples of how we think of our days.  They’re nothing special.  After all, it’s just a day, just another day… Well, what if today was your last day? Would you be sorry for how you lived all your yesterdays?
Our entire Life is made up of nothing but days. A list of days… day after day after day… Yesterday is over and gone. Tomorrow has yet to arrive. What you do have is Today. That’s all you’ll ever have. It’s strange to think, but you will never see your future. Because when you get to your future, you will rename it today. The cliche Today is the first day of the rest of your life, is actually true. In fact, today is your life! What are you doing with it? What if you could have a perfect day? What would it consist of? The key to a happy, productive life is in finding the recipe for “the perfect day.”
First, we must become aware of how we spend our day. It helps to break the day down into its smaller parts – hours. It’s kind of like spending money. If I use my debit card, it’s easier to spend the money, because I don’t see it. But if I carry cash, I am less likely to spend. I think it’s the same with time. If we look at the whole day, we’re more likely to waste it. But if we look at each hour in each day they somehow have more value.
God, being the equal opportunity God that He is, has given us all the same number of hours in a day – 24. How is it that one person can spend a certain amount of time and accomplish some great thing like a college degree, build a skyscraper, or write a book? But yet others, spend that same amount of time and have absolutely nothing to show for it. In fact, they may be worse off than they were before that time had passed.
Isn’t it interesting how we phrase the usage of time as spending, just like in money?  Sure they say, Time is money. Even though it isn’t really money, it is very valuable. Actually, it’s more valuable that we realize. How are we spending our 24 hours? Are we wasting them away watching endless hours of television…Watching people, long dead, trying to make us laugh or cry again for the 100th time… Watching other people live their lives, having the adventures we’re to lazy or scared to try – living an armchair participant’s life… Are we working overtime making someone else rich with no reward but a weekly paycheck… Or worse yet, completely zoning out every night on Internet porn sites and chat rooms; wasting weekend after weekend high on drugs and alcohol having mind numbing sex with nameless, faceless partners???
Unfortunately, I wasted most of my life doing all of the above. I have much regret for years spent running the rat race some call life. But my worst regrets are for the time truly wasted hiding from myself, my family, my life, and my God; living or should I say dying in a life of sin and addiction. It’s sickening and maddening to think of how much time I’ve lost; because I only have one life to live and it will be gone before I know it. But Praise God, today I have assurance, because I repented of my sins and received Jesus Christ as my Savior, God the Father will take all that wasted time the enemy tried to steal from me and turn it around to bring glory to the name of the Lord!  
Now to continue our search for the perfect day. Rather than counting hours, lets count weekends. Let’s assume the average person dies at 70 years of age.  If you are 20 years old, you have 2,500 weekends left to live. If you have turned 30 you have 2,000 weekends left until the day you die. If you are 40 years old, you have only 1, 500 weekends left. If you are 50, then you have just 1,000 weekends and if you are 60 you have a mere 500 weekends left until the day death comes to you. Somehow it is easier to relate to weekends, while years put death in the distance. This is quite a sobering way to look at the time we have left on this earth! 
When my husband, Bill, and I first saw our lifetime put in this perspective, we decided to find a way to mark the time we have left. He went to a hobby store and purchased a beautiful glass vase and some decorative colored marbles, the count equal to the amount of weekends we have left to live – at 50 years old, that’s 1000 marbles. He filled the vase with the marbles and placed it on the fireplace hearth. Each Friday, we remove one marble and place it in a prominent place where we will notice it as the weekend progresses. Then on Monday, the marble goes in the trash; one more weekend used up. We’ve been doing this now for almost 6 months or 24 weekends. It’s a great way to stay mindful of the time passing. To look at the vase and see the marbles and to know that represents the time left in your life… we are much more careful how we spend our weekends now! 
Remember, today is a mini-lifeIt’s the prototype or model of your entire lifetime. You can look at how you spend a day and know that is how your life will be spent. Don’t let time pass you by. Stop right now. The Apostle Paul says in II Corinthians 6:2 – I tell you now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation. Come to awareness of how you are spending your time bank.
Start your perfect day with a few simple ingredients:
  • Make a daily plan. 
  • Be conscious of daily spiritual growth.
  • Always make each day productive.
  • Walk in love with those around you.
  • Find a way to mark your life-time passing.
          Consider adding the following:

Turn off the TV, put away the computer and the video games, read a book, start a new hobby, befriend someone who needs help, visit your grandmother, ask her about her life… Have a family dinner around the table, look each other in the eye. Do you even know who they are? Really? Talk to the ones you love, have stimulating conversation instead of searching for stimulating events. 
You may choose to be radical like we have and disconnect the cable all together! It’s actually quite liberating. Instead, we use NetFlix and rent television programs and movies we like. We have a dedicated time to watch together and the monthly bill is far less! I don’t even miss the television. I sure don’t miss the negative influences of the liberal media. I don’t know how I ever got anything done watching up to six hours per day! The reality is I didn’t get anything of value done, all I did was draw one day closer to the truly numbed brain brought on by Alzheimer’s. Now my brain is more active, I can memorize scripture easier, I have more time to read and write, to learn and focus on the ministry to hurting women God has called me to.
In our search for the recipe for the perfect day, sometimes those of us who tend to be perfectionists or people pleasers; may get bogged down in “What if I fail today?” Don’t get discouraged. There’s no pressure. Analyze the day in the evening, start over with your list of ingredients that will make your day perfect and try again tomorrow. Give your day to the Lord, each and every morning. Psalm 118:24 says: This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. Ask for His guidance where and how you should spend your time. There’s no condemnation with the Lord. Remember, at 12:01am every day, God has a new batch of mercy waiting for you
Lastly, the most important benefit, to fostering an environment of peace and quiet in your home, is the ability to hear the still small voice of the Holy Spirit. Take a walk and talk with the Lord. He wants to walk and talk with you. Spend time in God’s Word and in prayer. You will hear His voice and He will direct you as to how to spend your time. When you are walking in the will of the Father you can know your days will be Perfect!
Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.— Psalm 90:12

Finding True Peace

I was at Celebrate Recovery the other night and met a woman who reminded me of who I used to be. She seemed so lost, like a piece of driftwood floating in the ocean of life. I began to reflect on how far God has brought me from the days when I had no idea who I was or why I was alive on this earth.

I’ve spent most of my life feeling completely inadequate and incompetent… unable to meet what I thought were the standards of others. I saw myself as less than and certainly not as smart as everyone around me. I desperately wanted others to approve of me, to give me a sense of value, to show me and tell me I mattered. I became a total people pleaser. Starting at a very young age, I was willing to do pretty much anything to make others like me. A peer pressure set up if there ever was one.

In Jr. High, I made friends with some girls at church. Why they liked me I still don’t really know. But before long they were all smoking cigarettes/marijuana and having sex with their boyfriends. I wanted so much to be like them. They were smart, intellectual and hip. So, of course, I started doing everything they were doing, not because I really wanted to, but, because they were. My friends all seemed to have strong convictions about politics and the world. They were reading J. R. R. Tolkien and listening to Woodstock. I didn’t really understand what life was all about, but I pretended like I did. I was immature and gullible.

Through high school and early adulthood, I continued to search for my significance through the eyes, words and actions of others. I was so desperate for love and acceptance, I would have sex with anyone who even showed a little interest in me. One night stands abounded, numbed by drugs and alcohol followed by a continual feeling of disappointment. I couldn’t stand to be alone. I was afraid to be alone. Not because I was afraid of something or someone harming me, but because, I couldn’t stand to be with myself. So I stayed busy with multiple jobs, and/or endless entertainment.

I married my husband, Bill, in 1979. He was much like my teen friends, very confident, smart and assertive. No fear. One of these too smart for his own good, kind of people. Breezed through college on an Academic scholarship and up the corporate ladder with a resume that reads like an interesting novel. I lived in his shadow for years. Not because he lorded anything over me, but because I resented how smart he was. He could do anything he put his mind to, and not just do it, but be successful, and not just successful, but so qualified that two Fortune 500 companies would spend a 4th of July holiday weekend negotiating a deal, competing to get him to work for them! Incredible!

Yet, here I was, just a housewife, with a beautiful home, three precious children and a husband who would do anything for me. But I never really appreciated my life… my kids, my home, my husband. What was missing? We were going to church, doing all the “right” things… But deep inside, I was a miserable person and the funny thing is, I didn’t even know I was miserable. I just thought this was the way life was supposed to be.

Mid-life crept in with it’s different crises…my father died, children began to leave the nest, sexual identity issues, marriage problems. I found myself again using sex to find love, but this time outside my marriage. I was falling deep into a pit of despair. Using drugs and alcohol to numb the increasing internal pain. Who was I? Why was I here? I wanted to die, but I was too vain to commit suicide.

But God in His infinite grace, reached down from heaven and picked me up, out of the garbage that I deserved to be thrown in, and showered me with forgiveness and mercy. Some days, I wonder why me? I get overwhelmed with gratitude to the point that some see my happiness as delusional.

It’s been 4 years since I was born again. God has graciously restored my marriage of 29 years. He has put me on the path of ministry, to reach other women who struggle with the same issues I fought with for 47 years. Now I can honestly say, I have true confidence; not in myself, but in Jesus Christ. I can’t take credit for the person I’ve become. I am who God has allowed me to become through the saving blood of Jesus Christ. I see life through the filter of God’s Word. I no longer have to prove myself to others. I no longer search for the constant approval of others. Finally, I have peace with myself.

Now the mind of the flesh [which is sense and reason without the Holy spirit] is death [death that comprises all the miseries arising from sin, both here and hereafter]. But the mind of the [Holy] Spirit is life and [soul] peace [both now and forever]. -Romans 8:6 The Amplified Bible

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