REACHING HURTING WOMEN MINISTRIES

In The Twelve Steps to Victory column, we’re reframing the traditional 12 Steps with a focus on victory vs continually looking back at our missteps and failures. Each Step aligns with the months on the yearly calendar. This series publishes on the first Friday of each month in 2025.

We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it, seeking victory in constant self-examination. ~ Step 10

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you and lead me along the path of everlasting life. —Psalm 139:23–24 (NLT)

We’ve come a long way on this victory journey. By Step 10, we’ve faced the truth, made amends, and begun walking in freedom. But victory isn’t a destination—it’s a daily decision. Step 10 reminds us to stay honest with ourselves and God, one day at a time. This simple but powerful step protects the progress we’ve made and keeps our hearts tender and teachable.

At its core, Step 10 is a daily practice of spiritual honesty. It comes from the traditional wording: “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.” In our journey toward spiritual victory, it means we remain open to correction, quick to confess, and eager to stay aligned with God’s truth. We don’t wait until we’ve drifted miles off course—we check in daily to make small course corrections, keeping our hearts in sync with the Holy Spirit.

Without ongoing self-examination, old patterns can creep back in. Resentment, fear, or pride may resurface if we’re not paying attention. But grace gives us the courage to face ourselves honestly. This isn’t about shaming ourselves—it’s about inviting the Lord to shine His gentle light into our hearts. When we respond to conviction instead of resisting it, we grow stronger in truth and steadier in grace.

Whether through journaling, prayer, or a quiet moment before bed, these questions keep our hearts soft. If something needs to be made right, we take care of it promptly. If all is well, we give thanks and rest in peace. Step 10 is less about perfection and more about staying responsive—keeping short accounts and open communication with the Lord.

Victory doesn’t come from getting everything right—it comes from staying honest and humble. When we commit to living this way, we walk in the freedom Jesus died to give us. Step 10 invites us to live with nothing hidden, hearts wide open before God, walking one honest day at a time toward lasting spiritual victory.

🕊 Step 10 Reflection: Staying Honest with God and Myself

A Simple Evening Examen for Victory

Step 1: Ask God to bring to your awareness the moment today for which you are most grateful.
✧ If you could relive one moment from today, which one would it be?
✧ When were you most able to give and receive love today?
✧ What was said or done in that moment that made it so good?
→ Breathe in the gratitude you felt and receive life again from that moment.

Step 2: Ask God to show you the moment today for which you are least grateful.
✧ When were you least able to give and receive love?
✧ What was said or done that made that moment difficult?
✧ How did it feel—emotionally, physically, spiritually?
→ Take deep breaths and let God’s love meet you there, just as you are.

Step 3: Offer it all to God.
✧ Thank Him for walking with you through it all.
✧ Ask for grace where you need healing, courage, or change.
✧ If helpful, share your reflections with a trusted friend or sponsor.

I know I’ve shared this song earlier this year, but it still captures the cry of Step 10 better than anything else I’ve found. I pray it speaks even deeper to your heart this time around. Be blessed! ❤️

On the fourth Friday of each month in 2025, we’re studying The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee. Join me as we confront the enemy’s lies of self-doubt and find our victory in the truth of who we are according to God’s Word!

In Chapter 8, we marveled at the incredible truth of propitiation—that Jesus not only forgave our sins but took our punishment upon Himself. This month, in Chapter 9: Shame, we turn our attention to one of the deepest wounds in the human heart: the belief that we are unworthy, unlovable, and beyond redemption. Shame tells us there’s something wrong with who we are—but God’s Word tells a different story.

Summary: Chapter Nine – Shame

In this chapter, McGee addresses the destructive lie: “I am what I am. I cannot change. I am hopeless.” Shame is different from guilt. Guilt says, “I did something wrong.” Shame says, “I am something wrong.” It is the painful belief that our identity is flawed, that we’re unworthy of love, forgiveness, or change. This lie keeps us hiding, pretending, and disconnected. But Jesus came to not only cleanse us from sin but to restore our sense of worth. In Him, shame has no power—because we are made new, fully loved, and never beyond hope.

“Shame says you are too broken to be whole. But Jesus says, ‘You are mine.’” – Paraphrase from Robert S. McGee

Biblical Truths

1. Romans 8:1 – “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
  - In Christ, we are not condemned—not by God, not by our past, and not by shame.
2. Isaiah 61:7 – “Instead of your shame, you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace, you will rejoice in your inheritance.”
  - God promises restoration and joy in place of shame and disgrace.
3. 2 Corinthians 5:17 – “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”
  - Your past doesn’t define you. Your new identity in Christ does.

Key Idea

Shame is a lie that says your value is gone—but in Christ, you are a new creation, completely restored and deeply loved.

Reflection Question

What labels or lies of shame have you believed about yourself, and how can God’s truth begin to rewrite those beliefs?

Practical Application

1. Name the Lie, Replace the Label – Write down one shame-based lie you’ve believed (e.g., “I’m damaged,” “I’ll never be enough”) and then write a Scripture-based truth next to it. Speak the truth over yourself daily.
2. Stand in the Mirror of Grace – Each morning, look into the mirror and declare: “I am not shame. I am God’s beloved.” Speak to your soul like you would to your dearest friend.
3. Soak in God’s Word – Read Psalm 139 slowly this week. Let the truth of your value and design wash over your heart until it drowns out every voice of shame.

My Personal Reflections

Shame has followed me for most of my life—often in subtle whispers, sometimes in paralyzing waves. It crept in during childhood when I didn’t feel seen or understood. It clung to me in adulthood when I made mistakes, said the wrong thing, or didn’t measure up to my own expectations. It told me I was broken beyond fixing, unworthy of deep love—even from God.

But the Lord has been so gentle, so faithful, in peeling away that shame layer by layer. Through His Word, He reminds me: “You are not what happened to you. You are not what you failed to do. You are Mine.”

I still have days when shame tries to resurface, but now I know where to take it—straight to Jesus. His truth silences the lies. His love removes the weight. His presence restores what shame tried to destroy.

Sister, if shame has been your shadow, I want to encourage you today: you don’t have to live under its weight any longer. Jesus bore your shame on the cross. He’s not ashamed of you. He delights in you. And He’s rewriting your story—not with judgment, but with mercy and grace.

Next month, we’ll explore Chapter 10: God’s Answer – Regeneration, where we’ll rejoice in the truth that we are new creations in Christ.

Until then, may this truth ring louder than shame:
You are not what you’ve done. You are not what’s been done to you.
You are who God says you are—redeemed, restored, and deeply loved. 💖

🎵 Worship Reflection
As you reflect on this chapter, I invite you to listen to “Run to the Father” by Cody Carnes. This powerful worship song reminds us that we don’t have to carry the weight of shame or strive to fix ourselves. Instead, we can run—again and again—to the arms of a loving Father who welcomes us just as we are. Let the lyrics wash over your heart and lead you into a place of surrender, healing, and grace.