Addiction Recovery – Page 59 – REACHING HURTING WOMEN MINISTRIES

Can you hear the scream? How many times have you found yourself in this position?

There was a time in my life when I looked just like this photo. I was so full of anger that I couldn’t function normally. God showed me a vision of a volcano boiling deep inside my spirit; bubbling up and overflowing, the anger spewed out of my mouth with vulgar hateful words followed by actions that destroyed anything in my path.

On the surface my anger was directed mostly at God because my husband and I had been betrayed by some Christian friends. Below the surface I had unknown childhood hurts and wounds that fueled the raging fire I carried within. I managed my pain with substance abuse and other self-destructive behaviors which only fueled the fire. Soon my anger was out of control and so was my life. Then my loving Heavenly Father put me in a time out compliments of the county jail. It was the best thing that ever happened to me!

When anger runs our lives we are a danger to ourselves and to those around us. Uncontrolled anger is devastating and no one is exempt from its repercussions. It destroys marriages, shatters friendships, brings down businesses, breeds violence in our communities and war among nations.

There are many reasons to be angry today. Just watching the news can get tempers flaring. The world has us running hard and fast with emotions in a frenzied state. Millions are unemployed and those fortunate to have jobs are over committed, overworked and often underpaid. Many people are outraged with their corporate pensions slashed, homes lost, or suffering with painful debilitating illnesses.

Anger is an emotion that centers on getting control. With God’s hand seemingly absent we take over the situation. Anger clouds our judgment as we become consumed with problems and pain. Before we know it our anger escalates from a simmering indignation to a blazing rage.

What can we do to keep anger from taking control?

**2 Steps to Overpower Anger:

1. Ask yourself: Can I change the situation?
2. Take action: If you can change the situation, change it. If not, release it to God.

These steps may seem oversimplified but they are basic common sense. The challenge is dealing with our emotions. Once we can step back from the situation and remove our emotions, all we need to do is access the situation and our ability to change it. If we can’t change it the only thing left to do is give it to God.

My dear friends, you should be quick to listen and slow to speak or to get angry. If you are angry, you cannot do any of the good things that God wants done. ~ James 1:19-20 (Contemporary English Version)

Acknowledging our powerlessness over situations we humbly go to God not demanding our rights but surrendering ourselves and the situation to God. We may feel powerless, but in fact we are the only one with the power to release our anger to God. No one else can do that for us. Once we release our anger God will give us the grace to overcome it.

In what recent situations have you struggled with anger?

How are you dealing with your anger?

Meditate on Surrender with Hillsong. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcnfT4arZtI&feature=colike

Resources
**Biblical Counseling Keys: Anger~Facing the Fire Within by June Hunt and Hope for the Heart

VIRTUE: a valued principle of good moral behavior; a holy habit.

forgiveness: the act of forgiving – to no longer feel resentment against an offender

VICE: a practice of wrongdoing, corruption of virtue, an unholy habit.

resentment: a sense of injury or insult regarding a person, an act or remark.

The process of forgiveness is neither simple nor painless. Before we can forgive others or ask others to forgive us, we must examine our relationship with God, accept the forgiveness He offers us and check if we have forgiven ourselves for wrongs we have committed.

Harboring unforgiveness, either against ourselves or others, blocks the Holy Spirit’s power in our lives. Sometimes it’s easier to forgive others than to forgive ourselves. I was told once when we refuse to forgive ourselves we are pridefully putting ourselves above God. Who are we not to forgive someone God has already forgiven? That puts forgiveness in a totally different perspective.

How do we forgive ourselves? Can we divide in two parts: one who bestows forgiveness and one who receives?

The essence of forgiveness concerns relationships not individuals. The process of forgiving ourselves takes place within our relationship with God. When we confess our wrongs to God and then receive the precious forgiveness He pours out on us we are cleansed of our wrongs and freed to no longer carry that burden.

Can we find freedom from the resentment we have for those who have hurt us?

It’s often said that “resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” When we hang on to resentment, rehashing and recycling old hurts and anger, we are harming ourselves. The family member that hurt your feelings ten years ago probably doesn’t think twice about you. They have no clue you were hurt and are going on with their life. Yet you rehearse the anger and self-pity daily to the point of illness.

We have to let go. The price is too high to not forgive! People who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentments. Studies show improved cardiovascular and nervous system function by those who forgive an offender. Forgiveness is not only powerful spiritually speaking but it is excellent for our health.

God forgave us so we too must forgive. God wants us to be healthy and happy and will give us the power to forgive if we put it in His hands. If we can see our offender as God does it makes it easier to let go of our pain. One of the best things we can do is start praying for our offender. As we do God can bring about healing in our wounded heart.

How can we know if we’ve truly forgiven someone?

Forgiveness requires hard work but it is possible. Forgiveness means that we aren’t going to let experiences from the past to control our future and keep us from the blessings God has for our lives. When we can honestly wish the best for the person who wronged us as God does for us, we are well on our way to true forgiveness.