Some people think it’s wrong to love yourself. Aren’t we supposed to put others first? Are we being selfish when we love ourselves? Let’s talk about true love.
In the Living Life Lessons column,I’m sharing various lessons God has taught me.
A couple of years ago I was introduced to a little book that has changed my life and continues to change the lives of those in my circle of influence.
Don’t let its size (only 83 pages) or its simple message fool you; it is chocked full of nugget after nugget of wisdom. Reading it now for the third time, I can barely get through a paragraph before I must stop and meditate on another healing truth.
When under the influence of my addiction, I spent many years hurting myself and others around me, especially those I was supposed to love the most! I’m ashamed to think about the horrible things I did to my family and friends. But does that mean I didn’t really love them?
Do not owe anyone anything,except to love one another, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.The commandments: Do not commit adultery; do not murder; do not steal; do not covet;and whatever other commandment—all are summed up by this: Love your neighbor as yourself. ~ Romans 13:8-10
When we look at the scripture above, we often focus on the commandments or the laws of God, seeing them as hard and fast rules that mustn’t be broken, possibly difficult habits to break.
Perhaps if we will change our perspective and put our focus on the results rather than the rules it will be easier to swallow.
The summary statement at the end: Love your neighbor as yourself sounds like it’s just telling us only to love someone else. We are supposed to love our neighbor but that’s only one part. The critical, and often overlooked piece, is the very end: …as yourself.
God knows that we will love others AS we love ourselves–whether we do it right or wrong-that’s how love works. But before we can love ourselves, we must first love God.
HOW we love God = How we love ourselves = HOW we love others!
Does your life reflect your love of God or the lack thereof? How are your treating yourself? What about those you love?
“Pray that God will fire your soul with a love so real and encompassing that your life becomes a bright and steady reflection of God’s unconditional love for you.” ~ Adolfo Quezada
In The Road to Recovery column we’re working the Eight Principles of Celebrate Recovery that are based on Beatitudes and the traditional 12 Steps of Recovery as they align with the monthly calendar.
STEP FIVE: We admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. ~ James 5:16
PRINCIPLE FOUR (Celebrate Recovery): Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God and to someone I trust.
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” ~ Matthew 5:8
We’ve lived a life of secrets and lies, denying the truth of the pain we were causing to ourselves and to those we love. It’s time for the lies to stop and for truth to prevail. And often times the truth hurts.
In Step Four we began the process of coming clean by writing our spiritual and moral inventory. Now it’s time for the rubber to meet the road. All our baggage, the good, the bad and the ugly, is going to come off the page and into real life as we share inventory aloud with another person.
Step Five consists of three parts: admitting to God, to ourselves and to another human being. Each part adds a new dimension, a deeper level of intensity to our confession; one reverential, the next personal and finally the painful reality. Let’s look at each level.
ADMITTING WRONGS TO GOD allows us some distance from our wrongs, a sense of objectivity that keeps us from feeling too much pain. However, there may be a time during our confession when words can’t express our feelings. We may need to allow the Holy Spirit to take our prayer of confession from the sounds and groans of our pain.
ADMITTING WRONGS TO OURSELVES seems redundant after having just written them down in Step Four. But repeating the inventory, this time out loud to ourselves, helps cement our confession. This brings home the truth of what we’ve done and what we are capable of doing to our prideful ego.
ADMITTING WRONGS TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING is probably the most painful and even embarrassing part of Step Five. While there is no perfect way to work this step the most important thing is the trustworthiness of our confessor. Whomever we choose, we must make certain this person will never use what we tell them against us. We can’t make our confession unless and until we feel safe.
During this painful process we can look forward to the freedom we will feel after unloading our long carried burdens. We can rest assured the Biblical promise of healing will come after confessing our sins. And having shared our personal inventory with another person we will gain the support which frees us from our sense of isolation, our false pride, and denial.
Lord, my inventory has shown me who I am, yet I ask for your help in admitting my wrongs to another person and to you. Assure me, and be with me in this step, for without this step I cannot progress in my recovery. With Your help, I can do this and I will.
Show me who can hear my confession and not hurt me.
Show me who can stand my story and not condemn.
Show me who can listen and honestly care.
Show me who can be a human being and still show mercy.**
Resources: **Prayers for the Twelve Steps: A Spiritual Journey Celebrate Recovery Bible Recovery: The Twelve Steps as Spiritual Practice by Rami Shapiro The Twelve Steps for Christians
