be yourself – Reaching Hurting Women Ministries

Wanting others to like us isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But when others try to intimidate us for their own personal gain or power trip, that’s wrong and oftentimes abusive.

Many of have endured peer pressure as a teenager. However, it isn’t only teens who struggle with the pressure to conform to the ideas and will of others. Employers, coworkers and even family members can use intimidation to manipulate us to do their will. If we allow ourselves to be intimidated by people we are putting them above God.

You will either be yourself or you will try to be who and what other people think you should be. Only you can decide which it will be. ~ Joyce Meyer

Without an personal relationship with Jesus Christ we may succumb to that pressure and end up doing something we may regret later. Regular, quality time with God, in His Word, in prayer and worship will help prevent us from being swayed by the opinions of others.

Put your heart and soul into every activity you do, as though you are doing it for the Lord himself and not merely for others. For we know that we will receive a reward, an inheritance from the Lord, as we serve the Lord Yahweh, the Anointed One! ~ Colossians 3:23-24

When we know who we are in Christ, we have no reason to put the opinion others have of us over what God says about us. Knowing our real value to God, His kingdom and plan for our life gives us the confidence to freely be ourself.

Let Go and let God show you how to be the real you with this awesome some by Jack Cassidy! Turn this one up… Enjoy!

For the last four weeks we’ve been focusing on learning to love and respect ourselves, make healing choices for our lives and preparing to make amends to those we’ve harmed. We’re going to wrap up this month by consolidating all these topics into one area that is definitely connected to all the above…

…hiding behind masks.

As the child of an alcoholic father and a co-dependent mother I grew up to become an approval addicted people-pleaser with a very low self-esteem. My adolescent friends were all very bright students; always reading books I’d never heard of, talking about philosophy and involved with intellectual and artistic endeavors. Books weren’t really read in my home, much less having conversations about them.

Constantly comparing myself to others while feeling totally unworthy, I looked for love and validation in all the wrong ways. I found it easy to slide behind a mask to be what I thought others wanted me to be in any environment whether at home, school or church.

We wear masks because we’ve never figured out who we are or we’re afraid others won’t accept us when they do. Either way, once we’re form fitted for our life mask it’s difficult to remove.

What does your mask look like? What does it say about who you really are?

Ms. Self-Sufficient: I don’t need anyone
Ms. Happy Go Lucky: not a care in the world
Ms. Unteachable: the know-it-all
Ms.Too Busy: the important person
Ms. Barbie Doll: the sexy girl
Ms. Country Club: the socialite

Our culture and even the church make it very difficult for us to not wear masks. No one really wants to see other people’s pain. We can watch the evening news for that. So it’s just easier to put on the “happy” face and sweep our troubles under the rug where even we don’t have to see them. The dangers of wearing masks is we start to believe the facade; we forget who we really are.

Are some masks alright? Must we remove all our masks?

The masks we need to remove are those that cause us to present a dishonest appearance to others. To do that we must start by being honest with ourselves; assessing how we are putting ourselves out there for others. Be willing to risk possible rejection by sharing our life and our struggles.

Sure not every person or even every situation calls for such transparency. But wearing a superficial mask all the time can prevent us from developing genuine relationships. We deny others the opportunity to encourage or be encouraged by us. Prayerfully we can ask God to put people in our path that can help us find our true selves, to press through the fear of rejection, open up and be real about our life today.

There’s freedom in honesty; it brings strong, long lasting relationships. The Christian Community should be the one place where we can remove our masks and be accepted for who we really are. But that’s not always the case. In fact, we are often judged more critically in church. With God’s help, we can courageously remove our prideful masks, stop trying to be the perfect “saint” and allow the world to see we are really not that different. It can allow us to show God’s power working in our lives.