Spiritual Growth – Page 29 – Reaching Hurting Women Ministries

July 31, 2013June 25, 2016

Put Away Childish Things

Children who grow up in a stressful, violent, or abusive environment pick up various coping mechanisms. Whether it’s eating disorders, emotional avoidance, self-distructive behaviors or sexual acting out, these coping skills help soothe unbearable emotional stresses.

When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. ~1 Corinthians 13:11-12 (New Living Translation)

Our mirror may reflect an adult but inside we’re still a little child. When stressed, often unknowingly, we turn to our childhood comforter. Some are relatively harmless behaviors, like nail biting; others like eating disorders and cutting, can be very destructive.

It’s scary how easy we can get lost and fall back into old childish patterns. When we’re in pain we may seek relief and pleasure from a habit that will ultimately bring unhappiness.

Characteristics of Infants / Children:

Have a lack of balance.

Don’t know right from wrong.

Easily give in to temptation.

At one time our coping mechanisms helped us get through bad circumstances. But now God has something better for us. He wants us to put away our childish dependencies and look to Him for our comfort.

Characteristics of Spiritually Mature:

Grounded on God’s Word.

Discerning good from evil.

Steadfast in mind and spirit.

God has clearly told me to put away my childish dependencies. Can I do it? Yes, but not alone. It will take a steady diet of God’s Word and a faithful regimen of prayer and meditation. Though I may be fearful and uncertain of my own strength, with God’s help I will do it afraid!

Join the conversation ::

How are you handling your childhood coping mechanisms?

If you can’t see the screen below CLICK HERE for @RebeccaStJames‘ song God Help Me.

RESOURCES:
Life Recovery Devotional
Deeply Rooted in Christ by Joshua Choonmin Kang

Photo credit: innaastakhova / 123RF Stock Photo

July 24, 2013June 25, 2016

BOOK REVIEW :: Making Good Habits Breaking Bad Habits by Joyce Meyer

MAKING GOOD HABITS

BREAKING BAD HABITS:

14 New Behaviors That Will Energize Your Life

by

@JoyceMeyer

Making Good Habits Breaking Bad Habits is up there with Joyce’s best and most practical books. I love the way Joyce writes. She sweetly imparts her wisdom from personal experience of dealing with consequences of her own bad habits that ultimately motivated her to create healthier habits.

Joyce takes us through a series of behaviors that when combined, provide a beautiful recipe for successfully changing habits. She recommends rather than focusing our energy on removing the bad habits we should implement positive habits which will eventually drive out the bad habits.

I have been a huge fan of Joyce Meyer for years and have read many of her books. She has impacted my life in immeasurable ways. I can honestly say I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it wasn’t for her.

If you are struggling with some bad habits, and who isn’t, I encourage you to get Making Good Habits Breaking Bad Habits. I personally have purchased an audio copy and look forward to listening to it so I can further cement these principles in my brain. Thanks Joyce!

If you can’t see the screen below CLICK HERE to watch Joyce Meyer discuss Making Good Habits.

July 10, 2013June 25, 2016

Celebrate Discipline :: SUBMISSION

IN OUR CELEBRATE DISCIPLINE COLUMN EACH MONTH WE ARE LEARNING A NEW SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINE, HOW TO APPLY IT AND HOPEFULLY GROW INTO THE PEOPLE GOD WANTS US TO BE.

SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINES: habits that nurture spiritual growth; exercises unto godliness.

SUBMISSION : aligning my will and freedom with God’s will and freedom; submitting to others in love and reverence for Christ.

“Offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship.” ~ Romans 12:1

The Discipline of Submission has been abused by our culture and by religion. When we make the Discipline the goal it puts the wrong emphasis on it. The Disciplines themselves are a means to an end. They themselves are not the goal. Their value is the means God uses to give us the freedom we seek.

The freedom that corresponds with the Spiritual Discipline of Submission is the ability to lay down the burden of always getting our own way. It helps when we realize that the world won’t end if we don’t get what we want. It may be painful today, but life does go on. It’s up to me to trust that what God wants is far better for me than what I want.

In Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster we see Submission functions in several ways:

The first act of submission is to the Holy Trinity: Father, Son and Holy Ghost. We are to yield our mind, body and spirit for His purpose; living each day in an attitude of surrender.
The second act of submission is to God’s Word. As we submit ourselves to Holy Scripture we look to the Holy Spirit for interpretation and application to our life.
The third act of submission is to our family. With a submissive heart family members graciously make allowances for each other, listen and share as required.
The fourth act of submission is to our neighbors. By performing small acts of kindness, sharing food or tools, caring for children, we are acting with a submissive heart.
The fifth act of submission is to the Christian community. Just as in our family and our neighborhood, we are called to serve the members of the body of Christ. Serving poor, the sick, or simply working in nursery can all be acts of submission.
The sixth act of submission is to the despised and broken in our world. Like Mother Teresa and others before her we must find ways to identify with those who are rejected.
The seventh act of submission is to our world at large. We don’t live in isolation. Our environmental responsibility affects people around the world and generations to come. We must live daily with the future in mind.

While these six areas of submission are all vital, the primary one I’m focusing on is the first. I believe when we yield our mind, body and spirit to God the others will fall in place.

There’s no doubt that submitting ourselves to God is the most difficult of all. For me it is a daily, sometimes moment by moment, challenge. But as we keep Christ front and center of our Spiritual Disciplines we will be drawn closer to his heart and He will make the rest possible.

JOIN THE CONVERSATION: What experiences with submission have you had?

If you can’t see the screen below CLICK HERE to watch this week’s music video by Aaron Shust.

RESOURCES:

Celebrate Discipline by Richard Foster
Spiritual Disciplines Handbook by Adele Ahlberg Calhoun
So You Want To Be Like Christ by Charles Swindoll
The Spirit of the Disciplines by Dallas Willard

Photo credit: designpics / 123RF Stock Photo

June 26, 2013June 25, 2016

BOOK REVIEW :: Daring Greatly by Brené Brown

DARING GREATLY:

How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead

by

@BrenéBrown

“WHERE WAS THIS BOOK WHEN I WAS RAISING MY KIDS 30 YEARS AGO?”

Oh my gosh! I think this may be one of the most important books I will ever read! And I don’t say that lightly. Those of you who know me or have followed my blog for a while, know I’m a voracious reader. And when I find a book of this magnitude I’m going to shout it from the house top.

Daring Greatly is critical to living an emotionally healthy life!

This book is a voice of reason, understanding and explanation from a woman who has spent more than a decade listening to painful stories of lived experiences in order to put a theory into words. And not just research words to complete a degree, but words that will make a difference, words that can bring a sense of meaning to the struggles we all have in common.

Every person on the planet needs to read Daring Greatly!

No doubt about it, this book is a tough read. Not because Dr. Brown is a researcher who writes sentences that are five lines long (which she does not) but because her material hits me right where I live inside and outside my brain.

Do yourself and everyone in your life a favor… read Daring Greatly!

I’ve just finished reading Daring Greatly and taking notes all over the book’s pages. Now I have to read it again. This time I’m getting out my spiral notebook and stepping into the Vulnerability classroom with Dr. Brené Brown as my professor.

Thanks Dr. Brené Brown! I look forward to reading much more of your work!

If you can’t see the video screen below Click here to watch Brené Brown’s ground breaking TEDx talk that has garnered more than 9 million views thus far!

June 19, 2013June 25, 2016

Living Life Lessons :: EFFECTIVE LIVING

In the Living Life Lessons column each month I’m sharing various lessons God has taught me over these last eight years. Today I want to talk about living effective lives.

Whether we recognize it or not our lives effect others. If we want to have a healthy effect on our circle of influence we need to take care how we live.

Our strategy for effective living begins with SEEKING WISDOM. Some of us were fortunate to have parents that taught us right from wrong, others maybe not. So where can we find wisdom? The Bible says that wisdom comes from fearing God. This isn’t the trembling-in-your-boots kind of fear, but rather a reverential fear–appreciating God for who He is.

The second requirement in our strategy for effective living is MORAL APPLICATION. Once we have reverential fear we begin trusting in God. By allowing His Word to speak to us personally we come to place of obedience. Our heart lines up with what Scripture says, our spirit is convicted by the Holy Spirit and that makes us ready for changed actions.

The third requirement for effective living is PRACTICAL APPLICATION. Our hearts have been softened by God’s Word, we’ve sought His wisdom and have begun to obey in our actions. These are often challenges to our daily lives. For me the only answer is to keep God’s Word close to my heart and mind throughout the day. That may mean carrying a 3×5 Scripture card with me everywhere I go.

Results of practicing the above three steps is a healthy, positive and EFFECTIVE LIFE. How do we know? We will begin to actually experience what God does as He honors our obedience. It may not happen right away but we must trust, have faith and expect to see God’s blessing pour out. Just like earthly parents, God loves when His children are obedient and He promises to give us a reward!

Over the last few years I’ve been able to put these steps into practice. There have been times when it was easy and other times, like now, were more difficult. Today God has me under His refining fire again, taking me to a higher level, which always means change and a deeper surrender to His will for my life. But as I’m working this process again, I’m going back to what I know works… pulling out my 3×5 cards and relearning some lessons.

My child, listen to me and do as I say and you will have a long, good life. I will teach you wisdom’s ways and lead you in straight paths. If you live a life guided by wisdom, you won’t limp or stumble as you run. Carry out my instructions; don’t forsake them. Guard them, for they will lead you to a fulfilled life. ~ Proverbs 4: 10-12

Do you have a system in place that helps you make needed changes in your life?

If you can’t see the video screen below CLICK HERE for one of my new favorite Hillsong videos!

RESOURCES:
Life Application Study Bible
Life Recovery Bible

Photo credit: imagehitasia / 123RF Stock Photo

June 12, 2013June 25, 2016

Celebrate Discipline :: SILENCE and SOLITUDE

In our Celebrate Discipline column each month we are learning a new Spiritual Discipline, how to apply it and hopefully grow into the people God wants us to be.

SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINES: habits that nurture spiritual growth; exercises unto godliness.

SILENCE: removing sound (noise, music, words) from our life so spiritual goals can be pursued.

SOLITUDE: complete aloneness in order to receive guidance and oneness from God.

Of all the Spiritual Disciplines I believe silence and solitude are the most difficult for us to achieve today. We are surrounded every waking moment with distraction to the point of numbness.

There were many years of my life when I couldn’t bear to be alone or in silence. I did everything in my power to stay busy, distracted with the television, radio, people or activities (usually unhealthy ones).

The reason I couldn’t stand to be alone or silent was because I didn’t like myself. Not only that, I couldn’t stand the voices in my head. And later I didn’t want to hear the convictions from God to change my life. It wasn’t until I began my recovery journey that I learned how to enjoy silence and solitude. Today that is what I prefer. I rarely turn on the television or listen to anything in the car.

I have found such freedom in silence and solitude.

If we are going to put these spiritual disciplines into practice it is going to take a serious commitment; an intentional plan with specific goals in mind. Here are some ideas:

If you’re new to these disciplines I encourage you to start small. Choose a short period of time, maybe 10 minutes, set a timer to help alleviate distraction. Then just sit alone in the silence. It might feel awkward at first. But soon the silence and solitude will be your friend.
Choose an activity or chore, do it in silence with an attitude of worship to God.
My favorite is to take a walk with no music or phone conversations. It allows me to enjoy God’s creation in a much fuller way.

These are just a few suggestions. You can find much more in the resources I have listed below the music video.

If you haven’t before, I strongly encourage you to dive into silence and solitude. There is so much to be gained there. They are invaluable and help us with other disciplines and areas of spiritual growth.

If you can’t see the video below CLICK HERE to watch an excellent video that will help us slow down.

RESOURCES:

Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster
The Spirit of the Disciplines by Dallas Willard
So, You Want to Be Like Christ by Charles Swindoll
Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Donald S. Whitney
Spiritual Discipling Handbook by Adele Ahlberg Calhoun

Photo Courtesy www.123rf.com

June 5, 2013June 25, 2016

The Road to Recovery :: Step 6

IN THE ROAD TO RECOVERY COLUMN WE aRE WORKING THE EIGHT PRINCIPLES OF CELEBRATE RECOVERY THAT ARE BASED ON The BEATITUDES Along with THE TRADITIONAL 12 STEPS OF RECOVERY AS THEY ALIGN WITH THE MONTHLY CALENDAR.

STEP SIX: We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”~ James 4:10

PRINCIPLE FIVE (Celebrate Recovery): Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.

“Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires.” ~ Matthew 5:6

In the previous steps, as we began removing the addictions and dependencies from our life, we came face to face with our deeper character defects and discovered a lot of brokenness inside. Facing our brokenness can be overwhelming and painful. But if we’ve made it this far we must be ready for God to change us.

Thankfully God doesn’t measure us on how hard we work. But rather on the condition of our heart. He wants us to mourn over our sins and admit our brokenness. When we bring our brokenness to Him, He promises to forgive us, comfort us and cleanse us. Along with this cleansing God will satisfy our emotional hunger and help us overcome our character defects.

To go forward we must die to our old coping mechanisms. These comfortable “friends” who carried us in troubled times can no longer be a part of our life. But with the loss of anything familiar they need a proper burial. We must turn away from our defective ways, cover the shame with God’s love and allow ourselves time to mourn the loss.

I can look back with fond memories knowing my defects are no longer my friends.

A difficult part of working Step 6 is not knowing who we will be when our defects are gone. They may have caused a lot of pain and suffering in the past, but at least this defective person is familiar.

Who will we be without our character defects?

Will our friends and loved ones still accept us when we become this new person?

The bigger question we need to ask is: “Are we really willing for God to remove all our addictions and dependencies?” The truth is we can’t even become willing without God’s help!

We must be honest with ourselves and realize we may never be “entirely” ready for God to remove our defects of character. What’s important is that we stay close to God and keep moving in the right direction. As we do we will get as close to being ready as possible. When we do our part, God will meet us there and take us the rest of the way.

In fact, by dying on the cross, Jesus met us more than half way! He went all the way for our faults, failures and addictions. It helps me to visualize my specific areas of weakness nailed on the cross with Christ.

It is only on the Cross of Christ that our defects of character can be removed.

Dear God, thank you for bringing me this far on my recovery journey. I ask for Your help to make me entirely ready to change all my character defects. Give me the strength to deal with all I have turned over to you. Allow me to accept these changes you are making in my life. Help me be the person You want me to be. In Jesus Christ’s name… Amen

CLICK HERE for our Road to Recovery theme song.

RESOURCES:
Life Recovery Bible
Celebrate Recovery Bible
The Twelve Steps for Christians

May 29, 2013June 25, 2016

Time in a Bottle

Time is a mysterious thing. We can’t see it but we can see the results of it. We can measure it but we can’t control it. Today I want to talk about marking time to bring more awareness of its passing.

A few years ago I read something that brought serious attention to my lack of awareness of time passing in my life and how I was spending that time.

Today the average person dies at 70 years of age. So if you are 20 years old, you have just 2,500 weekends left to live. If you have turned 30 you have 2,000 weekends left until you die. If you are 40 years old, you have only 1,500 weekends left. If you are 50 then you have just 1000 weekends, and if you are 60 you have a mere 500 weekends left.**

Rather than days or moments many of us look at the passing of time in weeks often living specifically for the weekend. Counting time in years keeps our mortality at a distance. Counting by weekend keeps life a little closer but how are we spending those weekends?

When I read the quote above I was 50 years old and had just spent the last ten years of my life totally living for a party weekend. It shook me and my husband up so much that we decided to create a way to track our weekends passing.

Based on our ages we counted up the approximate number of weekends we had left to live. We purchased a lovely crystal vase and filled it full of glass marbles to represent the weekends left in our life. Each Friday we remove one marble and place it in a visible location. Then on Monday the marble goes in the trash.

We started this exercise six years ago and the decrease in marbles is definitely noticeable now. We don’t talk about it much, but each Friday the marble is in its place bringing regular awareness of our use of time.

It will be interesting to see the continued effect on our use of time as the vase gets emptier. As we track the lapsing of time, keeping present visible between the past and the future; we become more aware of the moment, the now in which we are.

HOW ARE YOU MARKING THE PASSING OF TIME IN YOUR LIFE?

You don’t know what will happen tomorrow. What is life? You are a mist that is seen for a moment and then disappears. ~ James 4:14 (God’s Word Translation)

CLICK HERE for a beautiful video to meditate on as you appreciate the passing of time.

** The Evidence Bible

Photo Courtesy 123rf.com

May 22, 2013June 25, 2016

BOOK REVIEW :: Our Favorite Sins ~ The Sins We Commit and How We Can Quit by Todd D. Hunter

Our Favorite Sins:

The Sins We Commit and How We Can Quit

by

Todd D. Hunter

During Lent I was privileged to see Bishop Todd Hunter speak when he came to our home church in the Dallas area. Until that time, I was unfamiliar with his books and really knew nothing about him as a minister. But not long into his talk, I became a fan. As a result I purchased and soon scarfed down this book.

Bishop Todd Hunter is an unusual minister in that he has only been in the Anglican denomination for a few years and not too long ago became a bishop. I believe this gives him great credibility in the way he tackles sin and temptation.

In Our Favorite Sins, with a Barna survey to back up the needed topics of discussion, Todd teaches us how to recognize our areas of weakness. Then step by gentle step, he leads us through time honored Christian practices, with a new perspective on scripture, prayer and sacraments that can bring healing and strength in times of temptation.

You may be unfamiliar with the Anglican traditions of prayer and liturgy, but don’t let that keep you from reading Todd’s book. I found his approach of using the Book of Common Prayer along with other ancient writings and practices extremely powerful and very refreshing.

I hope you will consider reading Our Favorite Sins by Todd Hunter. It has deepened my commitment to pray through various prayer books that I own, to meditate more fully on scripture and be even more intentional to giving all my desires over to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

May 15, 2013June 25, 2016

Living Life Lessons :: LOVE YOURSELF!

Some people think it’s wrong to love yourself. Aren’t we supposed to put others first? Are we being selfish when we love ourselves? Let’s talk about true love.

In the Living Life Lessons column I’m sharing various lessons God has taught me.

A couple of years ago I was introduced to a little book that has changed my life and continues to change the lives of those in my circle of influence.

This wonderfully powerful book is Loving Yourself for God’s Sake by Adolfo Quezada.

Don’t let its size (only 83 pages) or its simple message fool you; it is chocked full with nugget after nugget of wisdom. Reading it now for the third time, I can barely get through a paragraph before I must stop and meditate on another healing truth.

When under the influence of my addiction, I spent many years hurting myself and others around me, especially those I was supposed to love the most! I’m ashamed to think about the horrible things I did to my family and friends. But does that mean I didn’t really love them?

Do not owe anyone anything, except to love one another, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments: Do not commit adultery;do not murder;do not steal; do not covet; and whatever other commandment—all are summed up by this: Love your neighbor as yourself. ~ Romans 13:8-10

When we look at the scripture above we often focus on the commandments or the laws of God, seeing them as hard and fast rules that mustn’t be broken, possibly difficult habits to break.

Perhaps if we will change our perspective and put our focus on the results rather than the rules it will be easier to swallow.

The summary statement at the end: Love your neighbor as yourself sounds like it’s just telling us only to love someone else. We are supposed to love our neighbor but that’s only one part. The critical, and often overlooked piece, is the very end: …as yourself.

God knows that we will love others AS we love ourselves–whether we do it right or wrong-that’s how love works. But before we can love ourselves we must first love God.