Tag: Working the Steps

Posted on

The Road to Recovery :: STEP FOUR

STEP FOUR:

We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Let us examine our ways, test them, and return to the Lord. ~ Lamentations 3:40

 

PRINCIPLE FOUR of Celebrate Recovery:

Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God and to someone I trust.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. ~ Matthew 5:8

Step Four begins the growth steps of our recovery journey. We are now ready to come clean, to dig into the areas of our life where we have been blinded by denial.  For our moral inventory it’s very important that we stay balanced. We should make a list of our not only our weaknesses but also our strengths.

Grab a pen and paper as we follow Celebrate Recovery’s suggestions for processing our Spiritual Inventory. Let’s start examining areas of our life:

  • Relationships:

Who has hurt you? Who have you hurt? Are you seeking revenge / holding grudges?

  • Priorities 

What are your priorities? What is good / bad about them? Who do they affect and how?

  • Attitudes 

Are you grateful, complaining, sarcastic, anxious, fearful? Do you blow up easily?

  • Integrity

Are there times you have been dishonest? Pretended to be something you aren’t?

  • Mind

How do your guard your mind? Do you fill it with unhealthy movies, books or magazines?

  • Body

How have you treated your body? What habits or physical activities do you have?

  • Family

How do you treat family members? What family secret are you denying?

  • Church

Have you been faithful to church in the past? Are you discouraging your family from church?

There is much more that we can talk about when it comes to our inventory.  It’s my desire here to provide a jump start for your recovery. Please know this column isn’t designed to take the place of a 12 Step program. If you aren’t already attending a group I encourage you to go to the Celebrate Recovery website: www.celebraterecovery.com  to find a group in your area.

Also, if you don’t have an accountability partner yet, attending a CR group will help you to find someone to help you work through your inventory list.  Remember, the road to recovery is not designed to be traveled alone!

I pray God will reveal just what you need to see as your courageously take this step. Blessings… Tamara

Click here to watch / listen to our Road to Recovery theme song: The Serenity Prayer.

Resources:
Celebrate Recovery Leader’s Guide
Celebrate Recovery Bible
The Twelve Steps for Christians
Life Recovery Bible

Posted on

The Road to Recovery :: STEP THREE

STEP THREE:
We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship. ~ Romans 12:1

PRINCIPLE THREE: (Celebrate Recovery)
Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. ~ Matthew 5:5

There comes a time in our recovery journey when we need to look for help. We no longer can do this work on our own. And like a surgeon, who must go to another doctor for treatment, we can’t operate on ourselves. We need the Great Healer, the only Higher Power ~ Jesus Christ!

In Step Three we’re working through a big decision. We prepare for this decision process by thoroughly working Steps One and Two.

  • Look at the unmanageability of our lives.
  • Consider our needs, God’s abilities and our future with or without God. 
  • We contemplate the required changes.
  • Decide God is the only one able to manage our lives.

Let’s look at the Celebrate Recovery acrostic that can help us turn our lives over to God:

T ~ TRUST 

We put blind trust in many things daily. We trust the chair we’re sitting in to hold us. We trust our car will make it home. We trust the electric switch for light. Why is it so difficult to trust God to take care of us? 

If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. ~ Romans 10:9

U ~  UNDERSTAND 

Relying on our own understanding gets us into many messes. That’s why we need Jesus. After we ask Jesus into our life, we must look to him in all our decisions. As we grow in our relationship with Jesus, he will show us how he wants us to live. 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. ~ Proverbs 3:5-6 

R ~ REPENT 

Repentance is making an about face with your life; a complete 180, turning from the life of sin we’ve been leading to living a life with and for God. When we have repented we see the world from God’s perspective instead of our own. 

“The time has come,” [Jesus] said. “The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!” ~ Mark 1:15

N ~ NEW LIFE 

As we take the above three actions; trusting, understanding and repenting our lives are made new in Christ! 

If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17

Some old thought patterns have recently resurfaced in my life. So you aren’t alone, I’m working these steps right along with you. It is my prayer that this column has been of some help for you today.

Please click here to watch / listen to the Road to Recovery theme song for this year.

Blessings… Tamara

Resources:

Celebrate Recovery Bible
Life Recovery Bible
The Twelve Steps for Chirstians

Posted on

The Road to Recovery :: STEP TWO

STEP TWO: 

Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.


For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. ~ Philippians 2:13


PRINCIPLE TWO: (Celebrate Recovery)

Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to him and that he has the power to help me recover.


Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. ~ Matthew 5:4

At this stage of our recovery journey we are beginning to find peace with God; faith is birthing within our heart and soul. Our spirit has been pricked by the Holy One, nudging us back home to a safe place ruled by Love.


When we humble ourselves by recognizing God’s power it brings us to a place where we can believe for more, we become able to receive the strength we desparately need to recover. Only through honest transparency about our weaknesses, our hurts, habits and hang-ups, can we truly find healing. We will never be totally free until we yield ourselves to God.

God knows all our dirty little secrets but he needs us to know that He knows. Not to rub our nose in them, but when we can feel ashamed for the right reason, when we have a true sense of regret for our past actions, maybe, just maybe, we can learn from them.


Principle Two is the Hope principle. Here is the acrostic from Celebrate Recovery:


H – Higher Power  

For everything comes from him; everything exists by his power and is intended for his glory. To him be glory evermore. ~ Romans 11:36

O – Openness to change 

Throw off your old evil nature and your former way of life, which is rotten through and through, full of lust and deception. Instead, there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes.  ~ Ephesians 4:22-23

P – Power to change 

Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you. ~ Psalm 25:5

E – Expectation to change  

I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again. ~ Philippians 1:6


By admitting our powerlessness in Step One we moved from a life filled with pain and suffering to one with hope. Our hope grows when we believe that a power greater than ourselves, Jesus Christ, can and will restore us to sanity.


Are you struggling today? Is your life one of insanity and despair?

Don’t delay. Call out to Jesus. He alone has the power to change your life.


He is your Hope for a better tomorrow!

Reflect on hope in Christ as you listen to our Road to Recovery theme song by David Zasloff: http://youtu.be/yHIO_1JlBKc


Resources:
Celebrate Recovery Bible
Life Recovery Bible
The Twelve Steps for Christians



Posted on

The Road to Recovery :: STEP ONE

Step One:


We admitted we were powerless over the effects of our separation from God–that our lives had become unmanageable. 

I know nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ~ Romans 7:18

Principle One (Celebrate Recovery):


Realize I’m not God; I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable. 

Blessed are the poor in spirit. ~ Matthew 5:3


The pain of remaining the same has finally become greater than the fear of change. After spending a lifetime hiding from or numbing our pain, it’s time to surrender and face our pain head on. 


This first step requires that we recognize our brokenness so our healing process can begin. We can’t heal a wound unless we admit it exists; we must face and admit our denial. 



The Celebrate Recovery Bible has a wonderful acrostic for DENIAL:

D – disables our feelings.

E – energy drain.

N – negates our growth.

I  –  isolates us from God.

A – alienates us from other human relationships.

L –  lengthens our pain. 

We should now ask ourselves:

In what way have I isolated myself from God and others? 

How do I disable my feelings?

What areas of my life are out of control?

Don’t allow the fear of change to rule your life. Healing is possible!

If you are struggling with hurts, habits or hang-ups and aren’t participating in a 12 Step support group, I encourage you to seek one out. Celebrate Recovery groups are available in most cities.  

I hope you enjoy our Road to Recovery Theme song for this year:  http://youtu.be/yHIO_1JlBKc


Resources:

Celebrate Recovery Bible
The Twelve Steps for Christians

Posted on

Working the Steps :: STEP 12

Step 12:
Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs. 


The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because He has anointed me to bring good news to the suffering and afflicted. ~ Isaiah 61:1

Step Twelve completes this part of our journey. Through this process we’ve been changed, we have experienced a spiritual awakening, our lives are now an expression of God’s will.  As we go about our daily life we look for ways to demonstrate this new confidence, showing our commitment to recovery and our growing awareness of God’s presence in our lives.

Sharing our life experiences is sometime difficult, we must be sensitive to whom we tell our story and how much we share. Not everyone is ready to hear our recovery story.  Practicing first with an accountability partner or sponsor is always good. The more we tell our story, the easier it gets. And with that ease, the emotional pain that we may carry today will be relieved.

Though much progress has been made we haven’t completed our journey to wholeness. That won’t happen in this world. But as we continue our growth we must daily be aware of the principles that will enhance our walk with God. Each of the Twelve Steps is a vital part of fulfilling God’s plan for our life. And as we experience daily challenges that try to pull us away from God, we must use the steps as tools for coping rather than falling back into old patterns.

Let’s quickly review each of the Twelve Steps:

  • Step One ~  Reminds us of our powerlessness.
  • Steps Two and Three ~  Show us our ongoing need for God’s help.
  • Steps Four through Nine ~ Guide us through self-examination and making amends. 
  • Steps Ten and Eleven ~ Help us avoid slips and keep us in touch with God.
  • Step Twelve ~  A milestone showing our commitment to God’s will for our recovery.

The most important part of Step 12 is the hope rooted here. By sharing our story we give others hope for freedom from addiction. It’s possible for life to be good again. As we prepare to tell our story, we shouldn’t compare ourselves with others. It’s not having some big dramatic story that give it value; it’s the end of the story that counts.

Post reminders around the house related to spiritual growth. In my role as a wife, mother, writer, minister and now grandmother, the tools of my work, whatever that work may be, play an important part in my spiritual growth. Here’s what’s on the reminder card I keep posted in the kitchen.  It’s adapted from St. Benedict’s Rule of Order.

“Each implement of your work is a sacred vessel on the altar of your transformation.”


Go forward now, intentionally pressing into each day, committed to give and do your best. Trusting God is by your side, changing you into the new creature He designed you to be.  Don’t not tell your story. There is someone who needs to hear it. Anyone can argue theology or doctrine. But who can argue with what God has done in your life? No one!

Once again… take a few minutes to enjoy our Twelve Step theme song for this year…
Step by Step by Bryan Duncan  http://youtu.be/l7BvJ0obHZk

Posted on

Working the Steps :: STEP 11

We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.  And He who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. ~ Romans 8:26-27




By working the Twelve Step process we are gradually learning what we want to achieve. To protect what we have learned, we must continually seek God’s will for our lives. Through a regular practice of prayer and mediation the burden of our painful past is released in daily increments. 


Prayer and meditation are difficult for some. Whether we’ve experienced toxic faith in our family or religious circles or grown up unfamiliar with the practices, it’s good to begin with baby steps. Let’s start by breaking down Step 11 into three parts so that we can understand what’s required of us in this step.
  1. What is Prayer? Prayer is talking with God about what His will is for my life.
  2. What is Meditation? Quietly listening and focusing on the Power of God inside me.
  3. What is Conscious Contact? Making myself aware of God’s presence with me.
By declaring our spiritual poverty before God through listening prayer we invite His grace into our lives. Trust begins with a childlike attitude; we stop trying to figure things out and become receptive to God’s kingdom–His rulership and will. It is here when we are truly listening to God.

With a quieted mind and spirit the promised knowledge and power become available. As we stop giving directions and start listening for God’s will our relationship with Him grows deeper. We can then receive His wisdom, peace and love. The courage to carry out His will becomes stronger with each step we take.

Putting Step 11 into practice. First find a quiet, undisturbed place where you can have some prayerful meditation. Choose one of the suggested prayers below. Begin the meditation music video I have selected. Repeat your prayer slowly as you fall into your Heavenly Father’s arms. Soak up His presence and listen for His still soft voice. 

Prayers of Meditation
The Jesus Prayer: Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.
Words of Praise: Praise you, Lord Jesus.
Words of Thanksgiving: Thank you, Lord Jesus.

Meditation music video: http://youtu.be/tKCdk4vx-6o

After a relaxing time of prayer and meditation let’s celebrate progress with our 12 Step theme song: Step by Step by @Bryan_Duncan http://youtu.be/swNgb9ya6WM

Posted on

Working the Steps :: STEP 10

Step 10:  We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. 

So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall. ~ 1 Corinthians 10:12

Life is a process of growing, changing and hopefully maintaining.  Step 10 is the beginning of our maintenance work, essentially reviewing Steps Four through Nine. Daily we examine our lives: the good and the not so good, admit our wrongs when necessary, and make amends promptly. But to do this properly we must be attentive to our words and actions at all times.

We can’t run on autopilot anymore. Self-awareness is critical.  It’s all too easy to numb out of reality. With overwhelming amounts of media at our fingertips, self-control and discipline are required to reel ourselves back in. While staying attentive to the present we measure our words and behavior not to the world’s standards but to God’s moral code.

Humility is key to recovery. We must take care to not become over confident. Our flaws and defects are healed only to the degree that we recognize them and submit them to God’s power. Aware of our weaknesses we walk gently through life, carefully planting seeds for our future with healthy behavior today. When we don’t tell lies today-we won’t have to lie tomorrow. By not taking advantage of people today-we won’t have to deal with anger tomorrow.

Step 10 alerts us to the pain we’ve caused others and urges us to apologize quickly. Admitting mistakes as we make them isn’t easy. However, because we have turned it all over to God, every step is accomplished with and through His strength and not our own. We can trust Him to give us the self-awareness to recognize mistakes and the humility that won’t protect our self-image when amends are required.

Some find it useful to have a chart of personal weaknesses and strengths to check off each day before bed. By mentally reviewing our day we can decide if an event caused uncomfortable feelings. Below is a helpful acronym to inventory our actions or words: 

T  Was it Thoughtful?
H  Was it Honest?
I   Was it Intelligent?
N  Was it Necessary?
K  Was it Kind?

What helps you to apply the steps when life gets tough? 

I hope you enjoy the theme song I’ve chosen for our journey: Step by Step by @Bryan_Duncan http://youtu.be/swNgb9ya6WM

Resources:

Life Recovery Devotional
Life Recovery Bible
The Twelve Steps for Christians
Paths to Recovery-Al-Anon Steps, Traditions and Concepts
Recovery: The Twelve Steps as Spiritual Practice 


Posted on

Coming in October on Reaching Hurting Women!

Preview October’s Articles on Reaching Hurting Women!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Working the Steps :: STEP 10


With the first nine steps we got our house in order and changed some destructive habits. In Step 10 we begin the maintenance work of sustaining our accomplishments.

BOOK REVIEW 

RELENTLESS: The Power You Need to Never Give Up

by John Bevere


Many Christians are not walking in the life-changing Grace of God available to them through Jesus Christ.  In Relentless John Bevere challenges us to take our faith to another level.

Virtues ~n~ Vices :: DETERMINATION


Do you have insurmountable obstacles in your path today? Are you trudging through life discouraged at every turn? Let’s study the ingredients of determination that can help us on our journey.

Healing Hurts :: INFERIORITY 


Are you constantly measuring yourself? Trying to be what you think others want you to be?  I have fought this battle most of my life. Let’s overcome the plague of inferiority together.

The Invisible Woman


Do you feel like no one sees or hears you? Everyone just looks right through you as if you weren’t there. How can we stop feeling invisible?





Look for a new article each Wednesday on Reaching Hurting Women!

Posted on

Working the Steps: Step 9

Step 9:
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 

Step 9 is a culmination of the forgiveness process: forgiving ourselves and others, receiving forgiveness from God and others. But before we can forgive ourselves fully, we must first acknowledge the pain others have suffered because of our actions. Once through this process we will be closer to our goal of peace with ourselves and peace with others.

By taking inventory with Step 4 we’ve purged our secrets and wrongs but maintained balance by looking for good as well. In Step 5 we pressed through the shame confessing our faults to another person. Now armed with the list of persons we harmed from Step 8, we prepare to personally make amends for the things we have done.  

There are going to be people that we can’t make amends to for various reasons, but where possible we must take this important step.  A commitment to changed behavior can be an acceptable substitute when personal contact to make amends isn’t appropriate.

While painful and difficult, the amends process is critical in the healing process. Prayerfully seek God’s wisdom and discernment before making amends. Phone calls and letters are perfectly acceptable ways of making contact when face to face isn’t possible.

Some basic guidelines:

  • Pray. Turn your anxiety over to God.
  • Keep a loving attitude toward yourself and the person you’re contacting.
  • Know what you want to say. Keep it simple. Avoid details.
  • Take responsibility for your actions. Don’t make it about them.
  • Manage your expectations regarding the other person’s response. 

Remember God loves restoration.  He will give you the right words and timing to say what needs to be said. Give it all to Him!

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. ~ Matthew 5:23-24


 Let’s take amends Step by Step with @Bryan_Duncan http://youtu.be/swNgb9ya6WM

Posted on

Working the Steps: Step 8

Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. ~ Step 8


In the previous steps we’ve been focusing on our own stuff. Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our dependency. Step 2 and Step 3: We came to believe in God and made a decision to turn our will and lives over to Him. Step 4 and Step 5: After taking a fearless moral inventory we admitted our wrongs to God, ourselves and to another person. Step 6 and Step 7: We became ready for God to remove our character defects. 

After all the searching and confessing it’s now time to take responsibility for our actions. Much like Step Four’s moral inventory, in Step 8 we will list all the persons we harmed when acting out in our addiction or dependency. In fact, using our inventory list can help us determine who belongs on our amends list.

Reliving past behaviors and looking honestly at how we have harmed others is hard work. But with God’s help we can recall the names and faces, making notes as thoroughly as possible we prayerfully examine each person and our relationship with them. 

Three categories to consider how we may have caused harm to others:

  1. Material Wrongs: Actions that affected an individual in a tangible way ( borrowing money not repaid, withholding money to gratify ourselves, damaging personal property, etc).

  2. Moral Wrongs: Inappropriate behavior in a moral or ethical action or conduct (setting bad example for children, infidelity, broken promises, verbal abuse, lying, etc.).

  3. Spiritual Wrongs: Neglecting our obligations to God, ourselves, our family, or community (avoiding self-development such as health, education, recreation, being inattentive to others in our lives)

Step 8 prepares us to continue the work of making amends. After making our list we are ready to ask God to give us the willingness to make those amends. As God helps us work these steps we will have the strength and the tools to heal our broken relationships. 

Do to others as you would have them do to you. ~ Luke 6:31

Take this journey Step by Step with @Bryan_Duncan http://youtu.be/swNgb9ya6WM


Resource:
The Twelve Steps for Christians.